Wow! I started writing this post on June 14, 2011. I never finished because I didn’t really know how to say whatever it was I was trying to say. So it has sat in my draft for 11 months. Today this title means something completely different than it did then. I was writing about the Joplin tornadoes and the destruction that devastated that city. I had written a song to go along with the title and I guess I was trying to share that song. That didn’t work. I guess I’m not that good at self promotion. But that’s another story…

As I looked at this post sitting there all this time, I could very well see how that fit into my life right now. There’s so much going on right now in my life and it feels like I’m kinda out here by myself. I know that isn’t the case, but struggle begins to wear on your mind and leads you to believe that you are all alone. I needed to hear my own words this morning. I had to be able to declare that God is in the middle of all the things that I’m going through. I have to accept that He is really in control even when I feel as if I’m in the spiral of crazy.

Are you going through something right now that seems too much for you? Are things crumbling around you? Do you feel like you’re alone in the struggle? Let me assure you that you aren’t. God is right there. Rest in that fact. Praise Him for that fact. Keep moving forward in Him. He’s going to stay right there with you. As a matter of fact, if you let it go, he will actually lead. That’s truth.

In the beginning, God created…

Pretty much EVERY translation of the Bible starts this way. Except for one that seems to add as many words as possible in translating  from the original language. But when I read this passage, this is what pops in my head. God created. Everything from then on comes from something that he made with his own hands. I’ve been having lots of conversations like this with people during this month of the Collision Course series we are doing at my church. When I think about how the Christian culture interacts with the rest of the world, it’s no wonder that there is such a divide. There’s no real collisions happening. It’s either running the other way or jumping WAY in and getting lost in the mess. But that’s another post.

In a discussion I was having last night with my friend Alex, we were talking about the newest Gungor album among other things. We started talking about how Michael Gungor had written a blog post about the Christians response to his album. He wrote a very interesting blog post back in November. In it he talks asks the question why some Christian music is considered “so creative” in its reviews. It seems as if we have been lulled to sleep by the music that has been released in the Christian music subculture. So when anything comes out that doesn’t sound like everything else, it’s considered “creative”. It’s as if creative isn’t normally accepted in the rest of the Christian world. I wonder why that is…

One of the phrases that always kills me in meetings and songwriting sessions (I’ve used it too, so I’m not throwing anyone under the bus here) is “let’s think outside the box”. One of the reasons it kills me is because the box is fickle. Also, the box is different for everyone. You look at a really large church with a 5 or 6 figure budget for their creative ministry and think “they have the ability to be creative”. I would venture to say they just have more money to play with. We were all made by the same creative God.

Somewhere back in time there must have been a decision made that there was some music that was not appropriate for the church. As a result it all became bland. So now when people like Gungor and John Mark McMillan and people write some really awesome music that speaks truth about God is a way that doesn’t fit the mold that we made for church, it’s considered creative. I think it does a couple things when we say that. 1, it almost alienates those who write music that doesn’t fit the pop mold. 2, it makes everyone else that writes music for church seem lame with no real flair for invention. I always feel bad for Chris Tomlin when conversations happen. I don’t know the guy. We have never met. But whenever people talk about church music verses ‘other’ music, he’s the first name that pops up. Let me go out on this limb right now and defend Chris Tomlin. Chris has done an amazing job writing songs that speak directly to the glory of God. I sing his songs in my church with pride because I know that I’m singing songs that speak Gospel truth and they usher people into His presence. I would venture to say that he’s a creative person. Now, there are some people out there who think, hear, see and feel musically differently than others. You listen to their music and think “how did they get THERE?” We immediately think that their music is so much more creative than anything we sing at church on Sunday. I think that’s messed up.

We were all here because of a creative God. That means that by default we have His creative genes because He is our Father. Is there some sort of way to bring the creativity back to Christianity? At what point do we stop looking at churches and think they are “thinking outside the box”? Can we get rid of the freaking box? Just saying…

It hit me AFTER I made that my title that so many people are going to have this pop up in a Google search and totally not get what they were looking for. Well, I guess I should make it a good one just in case people click out of curiosity.  Let me start off by saying I absolutely love that game. It is easily the most played game on my phone. I currently have 11 games going. Side note: I can have up to 20 so if you want to play my username is harrywalls4. And now we’re back… I love finding words and building words off of the existing tiles. It’s fun to win this game and it’s fun to lose this game. Zynga has done a great job with this one. A big reason why this game appeals to me so much other than the words is the fact that I get to play with friends. It connects me to people that I see all the time as well as people that I haven’t seen for awhile because either I moved or they moved. But this mobile phone app keeps us connected through words. We are coming together combining words to for the purpose of this game.

My other favorite use of words with friends is songwriting. What an awesome way to watch two different brains try to work together to accomplish a goal. I’ve had some of the most frustrating and rewarding times as a songwriter when I was writing a song with a friend. It is always good to finish one on your own, but when you get to the end of that song that you and someone wrote together, you immediately have someone to share that with. And there is someone who is as passionate about that song as you. Collaborating with someone always stretches me as a person and a writer. I do things a certain way when I’m writing a song and I can’t do that when I’m writing with someone else because we have a goal in mind. I don’t have the ability to step back and do something completely unrelated to music to help my brain refocus. I have to do things to push through the fog that is clouding my creative process to the next level. I enjoy the back and forth exchange as we watch seemingly random lines evolve into a new song that finally says what we want it to say. The whole thing is quite fascinating to me.

Are there any other songwriters out there that feel the same way? Do you enjoy writing with other people? Are there songwriters out there that hate writing with other people? Anyone? Anyone?

Yesterday was a pretty good day for me. I got something that I’ve been wanting for a long time. When the FedEx guy knocked on my door I about jumped out of my seat to open it. I spent a few minutes just staring at it. I spent the rest of the day figuring out how to make it work. I had a pretty good idea by the end of the day. So what is this thing? Well, it’s this. The reason the Zoom R16 was something that I’ve wanted for a while was because I have wanted to find a way to record music using my keyboard that I have had for a long time. I had purchased this beauty Friday and I was ready to put them to work together. I had some fun working that out. With all of this working now, I’m ready to start writing again.

Here’s my question for the day for any of you writers. What’s your writing process? I have tried a few different things. One of the things that I have learned is that I cannot write at home. It doesn’t matter if there are 60 people in my house or I’m the only one here. It just doesn’t work. I have learned that. Other than that, I haven’t found any other things that DON’T work. The problem is that I haven’t quite found the one thing that really does work. I’m still searching. Most of the songs I’ve written have just sort of happened. It always takes me a while to get going and so many things will run through my brain. I have to work really hard to concentrate. It happens eventually, but it takes longer than I would like. Just ask my friend, Brittany Howard.

So how do you work this? What’s your method? Do you have a certain thing that you always do? I’d love to hear from you. I’m gonna keep trying to find what works for me.

We are all busy. That’s the way of the world today. 40 hour weeks have turned into 50, 60 and even 70 hour weeks. But when it’s all said and done, we love when Friday night gets here because we know that it’s the weekend and we can sit back relax in whatever ways that we relax. How do you kick back during the weekend? How would you LIKE to kick back during the weekend? I personally have ‘kicked back’ in quite awhile because I’m always assuming that there will be something else that I have to do. Either way, I’d love to hear from you guys. What do you do to wind down from all the busyness of life?

Here’s my challenge for myself and you. I know that I don’t do a good job of taking time away from the grind and enjoying this life that God has given me. My goal is to take some time in the near future and go off on my own and write some new music. Just because it has been so difficult for me to find money and opportunities to record and get that whole thing going doesn’t mean that I should sit on the gift that God has given me. My creativity has been a little stale lately and I know it’s because I haven’t sat down to write in FOREVER! What are you going to do? What type of commitment will you make to slowing down from the craziness that is life in today’s world? Share you thoughts and maybe we can pray for each other. Have a good Saturday and weekend.

I can’t believe just how busy this weekend has been. I haven’t been going a whole lot, or at least I don’t think I have. But with this weekend, I have spent time with my family, which is always good. I wrote a song on yesterday, which is something I haven’t done in a long while. I will debut it soon, once I think it’s ready. If you wanna hear it, you may want to find yourself at one of my concerts coming up within the next month. They are going to be fun. Today was really cool because I actually got to go to church today. I’ve been going to church, but I haven’t been able to go to my church. Even better, I got to go to church with my family. We rode together and things were good. I’m thankful for the weekend that God has given me.

So what’s coming up this week? Well, who knows. Each week holds something different for us these days. There are some things that definitely need prayer that I hope to share with you all soon. Before I forget, pray for the Cornwell family as my friend, Rob was diagnosed with colon cancer. I love this guy and I love how he is handling this. I mean, cancer is cancer, but he is ready for the fight. Pray that he can continue to fight with the Lord’s help.

I will be preparing for an upcoming church retreat I’ve been asked to lead worship for in Joliet, Il. I will be leaving Friday and coming back Sunday. Then it’s prep time for the Sunday morning concert at Waypoint Church in St. Peters.

OH! OH! OH! Before I forget, my brother in law is getting married! I alsmost forgot that. I told you, even though I didn’t go a whole bunch of places, a lot happened this weekend. Did I mention that he was getting married in a month? I gotta get busy preparing for this…

What else am I forgetting? Oh yeah!!!! Big news, but I’ll save that for later this week. You’ll just have to come back and read what I’ve got to say. This is BIIIIIIIG news…

I have been doing music stuff for most of my life, but lately things have really been going in a new direction. I must say, I’m liking the direction things are heading in. I just hope that I can keep up with them and do what I need to do to keep the ball rolling. Case in point…

Yesterday, I spent most of the morning at Shock City Studios in South City getting a chance to meet a producer and having them listen to my music. I was greatly surprised to hear that they really enjoyed what they were listening to and are ready to work with me. I need to find a band to play with me. As we were sitting in the control room (which is beautiful enough to make a grown man drool), the producer says to one of the other guys sitting there that we need to find a drummer who can really play one of my songs. The guy says that he knows a guy and it turns out to be the drummer from the Fundamental Elements. Now, if you read my blog about their concert, you know that I’m a huge fan and would love to have that whole band in my pocket so I can keep them with me at all times. So this was a dream that was coming true. We will see how that works out. In the mean time, I need to find some money so I can get this ball rolling. I think that we may be on the brink of some very cool things happening.

Later that day, I got to go to a rehearsal for one of the ministry groups that I will be working with during the year at Missouri Baptist University. It was great to be doing that and it was great to be working with this group. I think we are going to have a good time. I started working on a plan to help them succeed throughout the year. I am going to be sitting down with the kid who is leading this group one on one to help him develop as a leader. He’s got some raw skills that can really get refined and brought out if someone comes alongside him and draw them out. That’s going to be my goal.

I’m also announcing that there will be some dates coming up where you can come worship with me. I will be posting them in the Upcoming Dates section of the website soon. One of them I will mention right from here though. Because we are struggling so much financially right now, my wife got some people together to create a chili dinner with a concert. It’s going to be fun. You can come for all you can eat chili and hear some music from me and a couple of friends (if I can get them to play some stuff). I don’t know how much it will cost because my wife hasn’t told me yet. I do know that the date is Friday, September 18th at Redeemer Evangelical Church. There will be more details, and when I get them I’ll pass them on to you. Until then, keep praying for us that God will keep sustaining us and putting people around us that can help us keep going. I am now off to the living room to set up the Motif and get to sequencing…

I need some help…

I have to make some changes in my thought process. I have a strong desire to make music. I have a strong desire to create a group. This has been a strong desire for a long time and it won’t go away. Last night my wife TOLD me that I needed to just stop being a punk and do it. So I guess that’s what I’m doing. Here’s my problem…

I have a fear of rejection (which oddly enough, God has been helping me deal with lately with all these churches saying no to me…). I also have some insecurities about my own music. I like it, but I fear that others won’t. So I hesitate to share it with others because I don’t think people will think it’s worth it.

With all of that being said, my wife (again) has told me to go for it. I have a new purpose. My new purpose is to create a group from the ground up. I want to find people who have the heart and passion for this like I do. I realize that to some degree I have not because I ask not. This is something that I’ve kept to myself for a really long time. I’m done keeping it to myself. So this is my official call to any of the people out there that know me (or don’t know me yet) that love music.

That’s my new purpose. I need to help to stay the course because this is one of the few things that I can get discouraged about really quickly. So I would ask for some prayer from my friends and family. I will definitely need some prayer to pull this off.

So there you have it. Now, I’m off to mediocrity for a little while longer until my brakes get fixed. Hopefully I’ll be motivated to do some good stuff when I get home this afternoon/evening…

This past weekend I celebrated 7 years of marriage with my wife. We were completely blessed to have been given the whole weekend to ourselves. We were able to reconnect and spend time just being us. Once you have kids, you lose a lot of that and it’s harder to make time for it. Anyway, I learned quite a few things about myself this weekend. Some of them were things I actually rediscovered. Here they are…

1. I love reading mystery novels. I love mysteries and thrillers and didn’t remember. We went to Borders a couple times this weekend (see #2) and I starting reading a book that I couldn’t put down so I ordered it at Amazon.com. I’m so excited to get this book and read. I’ll probably write about it when I’m done.

2. I love Borders. I don’t know if there’s a difference between all the bookstores in the world, but Borders has a more inviting feel to me. I love the colors on the inside and I felt compelled to stay and read. Eva and I love reading books and we love spending time together in that way.

3. There is a lot of good music in St. Louis, MO. I love this town. It’s home for me, but as I grow older I’m finding out things that I didn’t know when I was little. There is good music here that isn’t always on the radio. We went to a GREAT concert Friday night (see Concert Review) and I’m sure that I’m missing so much good music here.

4. I have amazing friends. The more time we get to spend with them the more I realize that God has really blessed us with some great people. I can’t wait to see what God does over the next few months as we get to know them better.

5. I must really be growing up. Eva and I went to a couple movies this weekend and one of the movies we saw was profanity laced. It did nothing for me and sort of took away from the story of the movie. There was a time in my life where I didn’t care and would watch anything. That’s not the case anymore.

6. Jim and Jeremiah may quite possibly be the perfect storm of public embarrassment. They may also be the perfect storm of straight fun in many forms as well. There’s not much else to say about that.

7. I will, always have, always will, love ice cream. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

8. I don’t write new music because I’m lazy and can find many things to do besides sitting and writing.
8a. I really want to start a music group. That has been my dream and it won’t go away. I’ve done all I can to turn away from this idea, but it keeps putting itself in my line of vision.

9. I adore my children. I loved having the time away where I could connect with Eva, but I was quite happy when my kids came home last night.

10. I cannot live without my wife. Period.

11. God is amazing! He continues to bless me in ways that I KNOW I don’t deserve. I’m not sure why He keeps it up, but I’m so glad He does. Thanks be to God for everything I learned this weekend. I also pray that I keep learning things. If I stop learning, I’m dead.

NEW SERIES!!! NEW SERIES!!!

I decided that it would be great fun to take some time and write about my songs and tell the stories behind them. I hope that you enjoy these next few posts about some of my favorite songs that I’ve written. As always, I’d love your feedback. I decided that I would start with one of my favorite song stories for the inaugural entry…

I was sitting at home one day when I got a message from a good friend of mine, Liz Hitt. She was getting ready for the annual singing competition called iSing St. Louis that is put on by joyFM. She asked me if I could write her a song that she could sing for the competition. I looked at it as a great challenge and thought it would be fun to do. So I got to writing. I thought all about her voice as we had spent a year together in a group called SpiritWing at Missouri Baptist University. I took all these things into consideration as I started to write. One line continued to stick out in my head…’All I need from You is everything I need for me; I cannot make it on my own.” So I started working around that concept. God really brought this song together in a flash!!! I still can believe how well that worked. Anyway, when it was all said and done, Liz didn’t end up using the song after all. So what did I do? I changed the key and made it work for my voice! It has become one of my favorites and a constant prayer in my life. I actually quoted it in a prayer time with my family last night. Btw, is that conceited to quote your own songs in a prayer? Hmmm…anyway, here are the words to this one.

The Only One I Call
Verse 1
You said You’d guide me if I was faithful and
I was close enough to hear Your voice
Your word would guide me in every step I take
Every move I make

Lord I trust that Your thoughts are higher than my own
Your love is better than any I have known
I can’t believe that You would care for me
Unconditionally

So my heart cries out to You…

Chorus
I want Your Word to guide my hands and feet
Your love to shelter me
Your grace and mercy to be everything I need
Your arms to catch me when I fall
To be my all in all
Your name to be the only one I call

Verse 2
I am overwhelmed by who You are
I can feel Your presence whether near or far
My heart is Yours to model as You please
You take good care of me

My heart’s desire is to be close to You
My life, my soul I’m giving that up too
I won’t continue standing in Your way
I’ll just begin to pray

As my heart cries out to You..

Chorus
I want Your Word to guide my hands and feet
Your love to shelter me
Your grace and mercy to be everything I need
Your arms to catch me when I fall
To be my all in all
Your name to be the only one I call

Bridge
All I need from You is everything I need for me
I cannot make it on my own
All I need from You is everything I need for me
I cannot make it on my own