I’m sitting in my kitchen right now at 8:10 on Thursday morning. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’ve been sitting here since before 6 o’clock this morning. That’s probably a little bad. Waking up isn’t a bad thing. I have been trying to do that a little more consistently (not quite THIS early though…). Here’s the bad thing for me, and I know I’m not alone. Musicians are quirky creatures. We like things to be a certain way and we seem to not work as well when they don’t work out. As a result, we obsess about things and hope that they go well. No matter what they say, musicians always obsess about music and concerts and upcoming shows.

Just in case you didn’t know, I am a musician. I am a musician who has a concert coming tomorrow night. If you haven’t heard the news, here’s the info. I am really excited about this concert because I love this aspect of being a musician. I love sitting on a stage and being able to interact with the people that are in the audience. It’s not an easy thing to do, and I love watching people that make it look effortless. And it’s something that I strive for when I do shows as well. Also, for those of you who know me, you know my heart and passion for music and worship. If you haven’t read it before now, here it is here. So trying to make sure that all of these things are portrayed in one evening is a big deal for me. How does that play out in my head? It plays out like this…

I tried to go to bed around 11:30 or midnight last night. I laid there and sort of slept for about 6 minutes. I spent the rest of the night tossing and turning. I had one of the most retarded dreams I’ve ever had. Something on the lines of going to an outdoor church service where the whole thing was sponsored by Bud Light and they had this HUGE holographic display. Then halfway through the sermon time, someone screamed that the piano player (not me) had JUST caught H1N1. Everyone ran off screaming and it just got more and more awkward from there. Anyway, around 5:30 I couldn’t take it anymore so I got out of the bed. I had been laying there thinking about intros and breaks and chord changes and harmonies and what I’m going to say and what the lights should look like and if the recording will work and how many people will show up and if any one will enjoy it…

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I started writing out song structures and laying out how the night will look. All I can say is that I’m in full obsession mode. Will it matter? Probably not as much as I think it will. Either way, it’s where I am. I hope that many of you can make it tomorrow night. My friend Liz Hitt is opening for me and she’s pretty good. This should be a fun night and I’m excited for it. I am blessed to be surrounded by some great friends and musicians and can’t wait to share this music with them and you if you show up. For information about the church and where it is, here’s a link to the church.

Pray for me that I can get some sleep between now and tonight’s rehearsal and tomorrow’s show. Did I mention that I am jumping on the highway Sunday after this CRAZY weekend? Yeah, I’m nuts!! Oh well…

I need some help…

I have to make some changes in my thought process. I have a strong desire to make music. I have a strong desire to create a group. This has been a strong desire for a long time and it won’t go away. Last night my wife TOLD me that I needed to just stop being a punk and do it. So I guess that’s what I’m doing. Here’s my problem…

I have a fear of rejection (which oddly enough, God has been helping me deal with lately with all these churches saying no to me…). I also have some insecurities about my own music. I like it, but I fear that others won’t. So I hesitate to share it with others because I don’t think people will think it’s worth it.

With all of that being said, my wife (again) has told me to go for it. I have a new purpose. My new purpose is to create a group from the ground up. I want to find people who have the heart and passion for this like I do. I realize that to some degree I have not because I ask not. This is something that I’ve kept to myself for a really long time. I’m done keeping it to myself. So this is my official call to any of the people out there that know me (or don’t know me yet) that love music.

That’s my new purpose. I need to help to stay the course because this is one of the few things that I can get discouraged about really quickly. So I would ask for some prayer from my friends and family. I will definitely need some prayer to pull this off.

So there you have it. Now, I’m off to mediocrity for a little while longer until my brakes get fixed. Hopefully I’ll be motivated to do some good stuff when I get home this afternoon/evening…

I decided I wanted to write a song that showed how great it felt to be in a close relationship with God. I also wanted it to be a little softer. Guys can write about stuff in a guy way, but I thought I’d take a chance at writing a song in a….”softer” light. Okay, that wasn’t REALLY it, but I was really trying to find a way to show just how great it felt being close to God. This is what I came up with.

So Close

Verse 1
Nestled in a crevice of love and trust
Clothed in Your beautiful design
Settling in to Your masterful plans
Material that’s lasted through time

Wonderfully intricate workmanship
My heart and my mind are both brand new
I never imagined just what it could mean
To be so close to You

Chorus
Cause Your love; undeniable
Your touch; indescribable
Too much for me to burn
So much more than I’ve earned

Lord, Your grace inconcievable
I could never run through
I’m amazed at the things I see you do
When I’m so close to You

Verse 2
Engulfed in a blanket of faithfulness
You’ve blessed me beyond all I know
I accept that You love me fully
Although I’d love me less

I am so wrapped up in Your smile
I’d love to stay and bask for awhile
You hold me
Don’t let go of me

Bridge
To delight myself in You
Is all I want to do
To have my desires become more like Yours
I’ll have to be, I’ll need to be
So close to You

Chorus
Cause Your love is undeniable
Your touch-indescribable
Too much for me to burn
So much more than I’ve earned

Lord Your grace inconceivable
I could never run through
I’m amazed at the things I see You do
When I’m so close to You

So I thought I’d report on what’s going on since my last post. Once I decided to stop making excuses, I realized why I had been making excuses LOL! Once you start making plans for things and people get excited with you, then you have to keep moving and going forward because people are ready to go. I started talking to people about helping me make this whole CD project happen and I have gotten great response.  I’m excited. First rehearsal is this week.

Anyway, that’s not what this one is about. Yesterday, I got to spend some time with some dear friends at Timberridge Community Church yesterday. What an amazing time! We were going to have lunch together, and we did. However, the fellowship was so amazing that we ended up having dinner together as well. God really gave us all some rest. We kept talking about how cool it was to actually get some rest because we move so much and never really stop. I am so glad for friends and family and glad that we were able to have that time.

July is starting off fresh and I can’t wait to see what else God is going to do this month. I’ll keep writing if you keep reading…

So, let me just start out by saying this is HUGE for me! I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am about what I’m getting ready to tell you. This is something that has been on my heart for a REALLY long time, and it’s still hard for me to believe that I’m making the necessary moves to get this going. There’s no better time for me to get this going than right now, so we’re going for it! So with no further delays, here’s the news…

I, Harry Walls, IV, is making the preparations for my first real, live, professional CD project! I am in the very beginning stages of pulling this all together, but I have some people in mind and some things already moving and ideas flowing. I’m currently working getting all the ideas in my head down on paper so I can share it with other people. If you are out there and feel like you want to help me, I’m open for suggestions and ideas. If you want to be a part of this project, let me know and we can sit down and talk.

Obviously for me, this is a BIG deal and I’m looking for serious help. God is moving my heart and I’m following His lead in my life. I have prayed much about this and feel like this is the time. I’m asking for prayer and support from all my friends. Keep checking in, for I’m sure to give more details. Be blessed and have a great 4th of July weekend!

I am very excited about 2009! I can’t believe that God has brought me to this point in my life. I have a lot of things to be thankful for, and I know that God is continuing to use me, which is why I’m still here. What does that mean for this year, though? I believe that this year is going to be a year for letting God of the things that I’ve held on to for so long. I am not a selfless leader or father. I am not good at taking care of myself. I am not a great studier and reader of the word. All of these things I want to do better this year. Along with all of that, I want to be a better worshiper. I am called to lead people in worshiping the Father. That’s what I’m here for and I’m committing to going all out in 2009.

Keep your eyes out for the Worship180 project this year. I know that God is calling me to move forward with this ministry, and I know that He’s going to do what’s necessary to get me in line with Him.  I don’t know what else to tell you about it right now, but keep praying for me and I could use your encouragement in making this thing come to life. I am willing to share with anyone who is willing to listen. I am also preparing information about what this ministry that I’m calling Worship180 is all about. If you would like to know more details or be involved in an email newsletter type thing, send me your email address. And if you like to get mail (like I do), send me your address and I can send things that way.

Ultimately, I want to say Happy New Year to all of my friends. This will be a New Year, Redefined…but it has to start on the inside. Who wants to go with me?