I’ve had a couple weird blog days this past week. There was also the fact that my posts were posting later than I actually posted them. Weird times…anyway I hope that we’ll get back on track this week. I’m starting the week off with a doozy! Yesterday, I was reading my Bible (it was Sunday) and ran across this gem of a chapter in the Psalms. For those of you that don’t know, I have been dealing with quite a lot lately in life. I feel as if I’m in a constant state of transition, not knowing what the next step is going to be. I have been praying that God would show me what I’m supposed to be doing. I feel like I should know something because we have been walking this same road for so long. I’ve almost felt entitled. “Why won’t God just answer me? He knows this situation and He knows what we need. SERIOUSLY!” That was a statement of mine from an actual conversation. All that to say that I’ve been quite frustrated with life as of late.  There are some things that I want to do, and some things that I don’t want to do. There are some things that I’m hoping God will work through and my brain has been through a million scenarios.

In getting ready for the SpiritWing 25th Anniversary Reunion (more on that later), I was listening to the song Psalm 40 by Newsong. This was one of the songs that I led during the year I was in SpiritWing and we are singing it again. That song and passage came to my mind yesterday morning before service because I was a little discouraged about things. The chapter starts out talking about how David waited patiently for the Lord to do what He was going to do. That immediately struck home. But I think took a glance at a passage I had marked from chapter 39. It simply floored me.

You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man’s life is but a breath. Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro…

Psalm 39:5-6a

The thought that I’m just a breath, a phantom completely blew me away. I’ve been sitting here wondering what God is waiting on and then I saw that He doesn’t have to tell me anything and that in a blink I could be gone. That was a quick pick me up before service started. This world is NOT about me or you. It’s about God working in and through us. I got completely and utterly blasted by this passage. I immediately started writing a song based on this passage. It’s coming soon and I will do my best to bring the fire that the words speak. However, (you should read this chapter, btw), the rest of this chapter is beautiful. I can’t wait to weave this thing into a song. I’m excited about it!!!

Did you need to know this week that you’re a phantom man? I know I did…

Today I am working through a couple new ideas. For a while now I’ve been wanting to really branch out and do some things with other people. I have been a musical loner for quite a while and I’m thinking that doesn’t have to be. I know so many people that are so talented and I’ve been working on ways to get connected with them. One of the things that I’ve realized is that you just have to ask.  That is hard sometimes, though. I have such a fear of being rejected by people who do what I do that I never want to ask people to work with me. The last thing I want to hear is “You’re okay, but you’re not good enough to work with us.” I hear that statement in my dreams. But at the same time, I know that I’m not growing because I’m not interacting with other good musicians. Who knows what cool things I could have accomplished by now if I had just decided to ask?

So whether it’s personal music or stuff you do for you churches, do you ever stop to run through ideas with other people? Or do you just keep them to yourself all the time? I am totally guilty of keeping to myself and not spending time outside of myself. Lately, I’ve been writing a song with my friend, Brittany Howard, and I’ve greatly enjoyed that and wondered why I haven’t done it more often. The other thing that I realize is that I’m not doing my part to further the kingdom. I am supposed to be in relationship with other Christians and that’s not happening either. I have this idea in my head of the way I think things should happen and if it doesn’t look like that will be the case then I’m quick to run away from the idea. That’s me trying to control a situation that God could be wanting to really work through.

So my pracical goal is to start reaching out and trying to work with some of my musical friends a little more. I’d love to see what we could come up with. I’m anticipating some fun things, kinda like a V7 chord right before it resolves so beautifully to the I in the next measure.

I decided I wanted to write a song that showed how great it felt to be in a close relationship with God. I also wanted it to be a little softer. Guys can write about stuff in a guy way, but I thought I’d take a chance at writing a song in a….”softer” light. Okay, that wasn’t REALLY it, but I was really trying to find a way to show just how great it felt being close to God. This is what I came up with.

So Close

Verse 1
Nestled in a crevice of love and trust
Clothed in Your beautiful design
Settling in to Your masterful plans
Material that’s lasted through time

Wonderfully intricate workmanship
My heart and my mind are both brand new
I never imagined just what it could mean
To be so close to You

Chorus
Cause Your love; undeniable
Your touch; indescribable
Too much for me to burn
So much more than I’ve earned

Lord, Your grace inconcievable
I could never run through
I’m amazed at the things I see you do
When I’m so close to You

Verse 2
Engulfed in a blanket of faithfulness
You’ve blessed me beyond all I know
I accept that You love me fully
Although I’d love me less

I am so wrapped up in Your smile
I’d love to stay and bask for awhile
You hold me
Don’t let go of me

Bridge
To delight myself in You
Is all I want to do
To have my desires become more like Yours
I’ll have to be, I’ll need to be
So close to You

Chorus
Cause Your love is undeniable
Your touch-indescribable
Too much for me to burn
So much more than I’ve earned

Lord Your grace inconceivable
I could never run through
I’m amazed at the things I see You do
When I’m so close to You

So, this song is one that not many people have heard before. However, the story behind this one is kinda funny. I was in a group at the University of Arkansas called Inspirational Singers. They are a gospel group on the campus of the U of A that is simply amazing. Anyway, we were working on some music for the group and was looking for something new to sing. The director asked me to come up with something simple that we could do. So I decided that I would sit down and write a song for this amazing choir and band. It turns out that I can write a song for a group pretty quickly when I put my mind to it. I’ll be the first to tell you that reading the words won’t do justice to what this song actually does. There’s a vamp at the end that I can’t even really describe with words because that would take too many words. Anyway, this song came out quite well and my wife got upset that I could come up with a song that fast. We ended up adding the song into the list for travel and concerts and it was a great confidence boost for me as well as a jump start into me really writing songs. We also ended up singing this song at the church I attended, Christian Life Cathedral, in Fayetteville, AR. It has been one of my favorite choir songs that I’ve written. My wife says it sounds kinda like a Disney song, but oh well. It works. Either way, here it is…

There Was You

Verse 1
How can I express my thanks for all that You have done?
I let other things rule my life
But You should be the only one
Many friends have come and gone
But You, my God, stay true
And after all of the pain
And after all of the rain
There was You

Chorus
After all the pain was gone there was You
After all the rain was gone there was You
You sought me when I was all alone
To live with You and share Your home
After all of the pain
And after all of the rain
There was You

Verse2
I couldn’t ask for anymore than what You’ve given me
You took me out of Satan’s grasp and gave me the victory
You let me walk with You each day to keep my faith anew
Cause even through all of the pain
And even through all of the rain
There was You

Chorus
After all the pain was gone there was You
After all the rain was gone there was You
You sought me when I was all alone
To live with You and share Your home
After all of the pain
And after all of the rain
There was You

Vamp
There was You
There was You
There was You
There was You
After all of the rain…

NEW SERIES!!! NEW SERIES!!!

I decided that it would be great fun to take some time and write about my songs and tell the stories behind them. I hope that you enjoy these next few posts about some of my favorite songs that I’ve written. As always, I’d love your feedback. I decided that I would start with one of my favorite song stories for the inaugural entry…

I was sitting at home one day when I got a message from a good friend of mine, Liz Hitt. She was getting ready for the annual singing competition called iSing St. Louis that is put on by joyFM. She asked me if I could write her a song that she could sing for the competition. I looked at it as a great challenge and thought it would be fun to do. So I got to writing. I thought all about her voice as we had spent a year together in a group called SpiritWing at Missouri Baptist University. I took all these things into consideration as I started to write. One line continued to stick out in my head…’All I need from You is everything I need for me; I cannot make it on my own.” So I started working around that concept. God really brought this song together in a flash!!! I still can believe how well that worked. Anyway, when it was all said and done, Liz didn’t end up using the song after all. So what did I do? I changed the key and made it work for my voice! It has become one of my favorites and a constant prayer in my life. I actually quoted it in a prayer time with my family last night. Btw, is that conceited to quote your own songs in a prayer? Hmmm…anyway, here are the words to this one.

The Only One I Call
Verse 1
You said You’d guide me if I was faithful and
I was close enough to hear Your voice
Your word would guide me in every step I take
Every move I make

Lord I trust that Your thoughts are higher than my own
Your love is better than any I have known
I can’t believe that You would care for me
Unconditionally

So my heart cries out to You…

Chorus
I want Your Word to guide my hands and feet
Your love to shelter me
Your grace and mercy to be everything I need
Your arms to catch me when I fall
To be my all in all
Your name to be the only one I call

Verse 2
I am overwhelmed by who You are
I can feel Your presence whether near or far
My heart is Yours to model as You please
You take good care of me

My heart’s desire is to be close to You
My life, my soul I’m giving that up too
I won’t continue standing in Your way
I’ll just begin to pray

As my heart cries out to You..

Chorus
I want Your Word to guide my hands and feet
Your love to shelter me
Your grace and mercy to be everything I need
Your arms to catch me when I fall
To be my all in all
Your name to be the only one I call

Bridge
All I need from You is everything I need for me
I cannot make it on my own
All I need from You is everything I need for me
I cannot make it on my own

Well, it seems like I’m starting off July with a bang! June was the my best blogging month ever and I have all of you my friends and family to thank. I thought I’d keep it going with something that happened last night. My wife and I and my good friend Brittany Howard and Smitty went to see Square Peg Alliance at Grace Community Chapel last night. Most of the gang was there. Ben Shive, Andrew Peterson, Andy Gullahorn, Jill Phillips, Andrew Osenga, Randall Goodgame, Jeremy Casella and Eric Peters. If you don’t know who these people are, and you like great songwriting, click on the name of the group. That was the best 2 hours I had spent in a while. I even got to meet Ben Shive and Andrew Peterson after the concert was over.

If you’re not familiar with SPA, they are singer/songwriters from the Nashville area that have created a community to write and they travel together and do these concerts. If any of you came to the Story:Song:Life concert back in February, that’s where we got the idea from. They shared stories and amazing music throughout the night. At the end of the night, they all stood on the stage and we sang ‘It Is Well’ together sort of in memory of Rich Mullins. Peterson shared a story of a concert that he had gone to and he said that Rich Mullins would frequently end his concerts with that song and at the end would say “Now THAT’S Christian music!” So that’s what we did. What an awesome time!

So the second part of this dual blog came on the way home from the concert. My wife asked me what was my excuse for not following my dreams. We currently don’t have a job and can do whatever it is that we want. Also, Britt and I had worked to make SSL come together and our goal was to start a similar community and we just kinda left it at “Man, that was a fun concert!” But she hit me in the face with that question on the way home. What’s stopping you from following your dream? What’s stopping you from making a CD? What’s stopping you from creating a community of singers and songwriters? I realized that I make excuses for not doing the things that I want to do. We weren’t originally talking about our dreams, which was really funny. She had read an article about “What story is your fat telling you?” Some sort of way that’s where we ended up. Anyway, at the end of the conversation, I decided that I can’t continue to make excuses for not doing the things that know I’m supposed to do and want to do. So the first thing I am doing is writing this so all of you can keep me accountable for doing what I say I’m going to do. I will appreciate your prayers and even emails asking me am I doing what I say I’m going to do (you know, like accountability or something ). So that was my night and it took me a while to get to sleep, and now I’m up ready to get going. So I guess this means that I’m launching the writing recording process as well as currently (even as I write this) talking to Britt about getting Story:Song:Life rolling forward. Keep your eyes and ears open. This could start moving fast…thanks again, to my wife.

So, I was just listening to some throwback music as I study for my Man & Sin test and get ready for my 9:30 World Citizen class. I ran across a song that was my favorite a while back and I remember why. I won’t try to explain it too much because I don’t want to take away from the words of this song. You may be feeling this way right now and this song will touch a part of you that needed to be touched by the Father. I know that I’ve been all over the place in my own mind and to hear this song right now was so good for my soul. So let the words of the song ‘Prone to Wander’ by Chris Rice  minister to you this morning.

On the surface not a ripple
Undercurrent wages war
Quiet in the sanctuary
Sin is crouching at my door

How can I be so prone to wander
So prone to leave You
So prone to die
And how can You be so full of mercy
You race to meet me and bring me back to life

I wake to find my soul in fragments
Given to a thousand loves
But only One will have no rival
Hangs to heal me, spills His blood

How can I be so prone to wander
So prone to leave You
So prone to die
And how can You be so full of mercy
You race to meet me and bring me back to life

Curse-reversing Day of Jesus
When you finally seize my soul
Freedom from myself will be the
Sweetest rest I’ve ever known

How can I be so prone to wander
So prone to leave You
So prone to die
And how can You be so full of mercy
You race to meet me and bring my back to life