Why do we do what we do? Why am I a Christian today? Why do I live this life and try to share it with others who don’t? Is it because it’s the cool thing to do? Is it because it’s my job and I support my family in this way? All of those things have popped into my head at some point. As I deal with these things, I notice that none of them have anything to do with Christ himself. They all have to do with me. I tend to struggle mightily when I take my focus away from where it should be. My heart gets hardened towards ministry and the work of Christ when I turn things inward and look with my own eyes. It’s not until I step back and refocus that I get another glimpse of the cross and Christ hanging there for me and my sins as well as those that we try to reach.

I did something yesterday that I haven’t done in a really long time. I woke up, got myself ready and went and did some work in some other place than my office or my home. I went to Hartford Coffee Company in South St. Louis City. If you’ve never been there, find yourself there soon. Great people and the coffee is pretty amazing. The atmosphere is really cool. One of my favorite places in the city. Anyway, I was there because I thought that I’d have a better chance to meet some people that might not know Christ if I wasn’t in my home or in the dungeon that is my office. What was the result? I met a couple that sat next to me at a table and I was able to talk to them for just a little bit. I also met an area columnist who comes there frequently to write and get coffee. None of these ended up being real long conversations, but they were conversations I would have never had working in my home. The other plus, I got a whole heck of a lot more done in the 3 hours I was there than I have in a really long time. But the focus changed for me from getting things done to being in a place where work is really secondary to presenting the cross to someone I may come in contact with. I feel that if I’m going to be able to lead people to the cross, I have to go where they are. For me, that also means that I need to be continually led to the cross myself. A lot of times I know that the cross is there and that’s where I leave it. I don’t go up to it, I simply look from afar just to keep an eye on it. I still have to allow myself to be led. Allow myself to let the power and severity of Christ’s death penetrate my hard, crusty heart. This became very clear to me as I was getting ready for this upcoming Sunday’s service. The pastor asked me if I could sing ‘Lead Me to the Cross‘ by Hillsong. I had already planned to do another song, but I listened to this one anyway and immediately decided that the Lord was putting this song here for me. I need to be led. Am I the only one? Am I the only one that needs to take a step back and refocus on Christ and what He’s done? I would venture to say that I’m not. I leave you with the words to the aforementioned song.

Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemption’s hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and trialed
You are
Te word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you’re risen

To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your heart

I actually started writing about this the other day, but stopped because I wanted to think about it some more. And so I did. My thoughts are pretty simple, and I don’t claim to be anything special, but God has given me something and I choose to share it with others. Here’s what I’m thinking…

I’m asking this question because I know that I’m guilty of having done this before.  We try so hard to make sure we say the right things or put up the right faces and fronts, that we overlook what it’s all about. I learned all the good stuff to say when I was younger, and now I’m realizing that this life is really only about one thing. Jesus Christ and what he did for us. As I continue to grow in Christ and this walk, I am seeing that people want to know what’s real. And at the end of the day, the one thing that I know is real is Jesus Christ.

I’m starting to realize that Paul was right (which has been the case for awhile). In his writing to the Corinthians, that was his prayer. I want that to be my prayer. I want to be able to say to everyone around me that I want to know nothing but Christ. That’s where everything starts, that’s where everything ends. Oh yeah, Happy birthday, Brittany Howard!

I am very excited about 2009! I can’t believe that God has brought me to this point in my life. I have a lot of things to be thankful for, and I know that God is continuing to use me, which is why I’m still here. What does that mean for this year, though? I believe that this year is going to be a year for letting God of the things that I’ve held on to for so long. I am not a selfless leader or father. I am not good at taking care of myself. I am not a great studier and reader of the word. All of these things I want to do better this year. Along with all of that, I want to be a better worshiper. I am called to lead people in worshiping the Father. That’s what I’m here for and I’m committing to going all out in 2009.

Keep your eyes out for the Worship180 project this year. I know that God is calling me to move forward with this ministry, and I know that He’s going to do what’s necessary to get me in line with Him.  I don’t know what else to tell you about it right now, but keep praying for me and I could use your encouragement in making this thing come to life. I am willing to share with anyone who is willing to listen. I am also preparing information about what this ministry that I’m calling Worship180 is all about. If you would like to know more details or be involved in an email newsletter type thing, send me your email address. And if you like to get mail (like I do), send me your address and I can send things that way.

Ultimately, I want to say Happy New Year to all of my friends. This will be a New Year, Redefined…but it has to start on the inside. Who wants to go with me?

As this day winds down and I’m sinfully stuffed for the day, I come right back to the reason for the celebration. Jesus did such an amazing thing by coming to this earth as a baby. This story means so much to me as a Christian knowing what this birth means. I am overwhelmed by the love and sacrifice shown by having that baby come down here.  Let me make sure that I say thanks right now.

I think about all the things that have happened that led up to this day…people have been trampled and died for the perfect gift. People have been shot over the perfect gift. All of this for something material when God gave us a gift that some peole don’t recieve and some of us look over. What a wonderful Savior!!! I want to apologize for what I’ve done to take away from you on this day.

This is your day, we are here to celebrate, we no longer have to wait for you are here.

So Happy Birthday, Jesus! I hope you enjoyed your day. I hope to celebrate you better next year. Maybe I’ll start tomorrow…