Wow! I started writing this post on June 14, 2011. I never finished because I didn’t really know how to say whatever it was I was trying to say. So it has sat in my draft for 11 months. Today this title means something completely different than it did then. I was writing about the Joplin tornadoes and the destruction that devastated that city. I had written a song to go along with the title and I guess I was trying to share that song. That didn’t work. I guess I’m not that good at self promotion. But that’s another story…

As I looked at this post sitting there all this time, I could very well see how that fit into my life right now. There’s so much going on right now in my life and it feels like I’m kinda out here by myself. I know that isn’t the case, but struggle begins to wear on your mind and leads you to believe that you are all alone. I needed to hear my own words this morning. I had to be able to declare that God is in the middle of all the things that I’m going through. I have to accept that He is really in control even when I feel as if I’m in the spiral of crazy.

Are you going through something right now that seems too much for you? Are things crumbling around you? Do you feel like you’re alone in the struggle? Let me assure you that you aren’t. God is right there. Rest in that fact. Praise Him for that fact. Keep moving forward in Him. He’s going to stay right there with you. As a matter of fact, if you let it go, he will actually lead. That’s truth.

Have you seen these “meme” poster things that everyone has been putting together? They have the six panels and it deals with 6 aspects of a certain subject. They basically present different stereotypes that different people in society have placed on a certain job or place. Then the last two are generally “What I think I do” and “What I really do”. In pretty much every case, there are some wide ranges of what people think about a certain profession or person or place. There have been some clever ones out there. Some have just been wrong. Whatever the case may be, they’ve only been out like 34 and a half seconds and I’m kinda tired of seeing them. Overexposure much? Anyway, of course, I noticed one that some individual made about worship pastors. I personally thought it was  hilarious. It was also quite true. The old people think we don’t do anything but make too much noise with our rock music. The young kids think we are lame playing songs that were written FOREVER ago, like, December 2011. Society thinking that we just sit down and watch TV all day. I couldn’t find it among this MILLIONS that were out there. And I didn’t want to go back to last week sometime in my Facebook timeline. So just trust me.

I may have asked this question before, but why is it that worship leaders can be so polarizing in the church? And why is it that no one knows what we actually do? Whenever I talk to people and they ask me where I work and what I do I feel like they sort of listen but then they tune out because it’s nothing they can relate to. Sort of like when Chandler on Friends would talk about his job and at the end he would look at the other 5 who are staring at him blankly and say, “You guys have NO IDEA what I do, do you?” Then they all try and say his excruciatingly long title. I feel that way frequently when I am talking to people, but I believe that it is because people don’t get it. It’s also funny because I don’t fit the mold of a stereotypical worship leader. I can get some pretty confused stares. I should start taking pictures…

At the end of the day, it isn’t really something that distracts me from doing what I do each week, but it is ALWAYS a good conversation with people who don’t get it. Usually I’m treated more like a personal church DJ. Most people put in requests for their favorite jam in hopes that it will pop up during Sunday morning’s Total Request Live (PLEASE tell me someone caught that reference). There are a lot of other myths that go along with the job, but this one is probably my favorite.

Generally I sit back and wonder if the position will ever truly be understood. I’m starting to come to the conclusion that it never will. And that’s really okay. Music, which can be one of the most unifying things in the world, in some situations has the ability to cause lots of confusion among people as well. Whether it’s right or not, people choose churches because of the music. They want their music to do certain things and that’s why they always bring their requests to the DJ after service. Or in emails during the week. Because that’s why the worship pastor has an email address.

I’m learning to live with the CBE. It’s not a rare condition, unfortunately there really isn’t a cure. Well, there is a cure but people won’t actually use it, so…there isn’t really a cure. Some of the  side effects include frustration from the worship pastor who is tired of always trying to explain themselves only to have people not really hear them. The blank stare as people continuously request songs that you don’t even have enough people in your church to attempt. The fact that your mother still can’t really explain to her friends what her child really does. Moms don’t get it either.

It’s Friday and I am in an interesting mood. Sometimes these crazy things run through my head. Most of the time I surpress them and keep them there. Then there are days like today when I decide to share them with the world. So I’ve created a quiz. This quiz is for you to determine what kind of worshiper you are. Here’s the disclaimer. This isn’t an official quiz. It’s mostly me being goofy and wanting to see what kinds of response I get. These questions are based on the observations of almost 20 years of being a worship leader. You ready?

1.Do you care more about the background loops than the songs being sung? +1 for yes

2. Do you spend most of your time counting the spelling mistakes in the lyrics? +1 for yes

3. Do you tune out when they don’t sing any of your favorite songs? +1 for yes (then bite your finger)

4. Do you count the change in your pocket by feel while the songs are sung? +2

5. Do you know the names, Chris Tomlin, David Crowder, Hillsong, Christy Nockles, Paul Baloche, or Natalie Grant? +1 for everyone you know

6. Do you follow any or all of them on Twitter? +1 for everyone you follow

7.Do you know exactly how many chairs are in the sanctuary at your church? +2

8. Do you wonder how many times in a row the worship pastor is going to wear that V-Neck/scarf combo on stage? +7

9. Do you email the worship pastor constantly with songs that you think or AWESOME or that “really speak to you in the car”? +5

10. Can you tell what song is getting ready to be played based on the first 5 seconds of the intro? +5

Bonus question for my STL friends: Do the names Greg and Sandy or Tim and Kim bring a smile to your face? +10

39-46 I’m not sure you can even do that based on the questions!

31-38 You are really in tune to what’s going on in the worship service. Or you’re quite cynical and waiting for something or someone to mess up.

24-30 You do what you gotta do to get to the real part of church: the WORD!

17-23 Your wife promised you Golden Corral after the service.

0-16 Ummmm…yeah.

Thanks for indulging me today. Share your point totals with me. Cause I want to know where you stand. And not in the room. Especially in my church. Because if you are a regular at my church I already know.

I’ve been talking about how the church needs to be the church. Here’s a STRONG reason why we need to be the church. This is sad, unbiblical, sad and unbiblical. Pray for the church. For real.

http://mrmokelly.com/tag/eddie-long-crowned-king/

Again I say, pray for the church.

When I was a boy, I used to think that my dad was extremely scary. I also knew enough to know that he held he power. This was a terrifying situation for me. If I wanted something I knew that at the end of the day it was probably going to have to go through him and I was totally content with just not having anything. Later I realized that my dad is not as scary as I made him out to be as a little boy. I wonder how much more enjoyable those toddler years would have been had I not thought my dad would kill me? LOL Anyway, once I was able to grasp that he wasn’t just the mean dude that looked for ways to discipline me and tell me where I was wrong I realized that I had a loving father who wanted to give me the world if I would just come to him. Spending time with my dad was and is one of my greatest joys. There is a joy and confidence in knowing that I can go to my dad with anything and he will listen and help and give what he can to help me get what I need. As perfect as I think my dad is, I know he has some flaws. Even in those flaws he does his best to create an environment that allows me to come to him with whatever and know that his desire is to help me.

When I read Hebrews 4, I see that same sort of love from the Father in a completely perfect way. So many times we hear the last scripture in that chapter because it gets manipulated to mean that we can go boldly to the Lord and he’ll give us what we want. The scripture does tell us to approach with a childlike faith, but that’s another portion of scripture. This whole chapter speaks to a loving, all-knowing Father who has the answers. The things that are happening in your life and in this world is nothing new to him. So that’s why he tells us to “draw near with boldness unto the throne of grace” (v. 16 ASV). We should be able to do that knowing that he loves us and is fighting for us. He knows that we will need that mercy and grace that he is offering in a major way. It’s there for you if you go and ask for it.

I’ll never forget the afternoon that became real to me. I was a little kid playing baseball in the driveway with a Wiffle bat. My mom had told me not to play in front of the car cause I might break something. I was in the backyard at first, but after lunch I found myself in front of the car. My friend Derrick through me a fat pitch and I was getting ready to crush it. Instead, I caught the corner of my mom’s Buick Park Avenue and obliterated the tail light (okay, maybe not OBLITERATED, but I was like 8, let me have this). I became completely riddled with fear. My mom came out and was furious. But she didn’t spank me. She did something worse. She said those fateful words that I’m sure all kids hate to hear: “Wait until your father comes home”. I spent the next 3 hours or so in my room waiting for death. If it were today’s world, I would have said goodbye to all my Facebook friends. I would have created a Twitter hashtag that said #Harryslastday. I knew the end was near. When my dad came home my mom was ready for the show to begin. She told him what I had done and how I had pretty much been in my room in terror for hours. Then the time came. He called me to the living room. That was the longest walk EVER! But my father did something that he had never done in a situation like this. He got down on his knee and held me tight and let me cry on his shoulder. He talked to me and showed me great mercy. We talked about how it was wrong that I had disobeyed my mom and how I shouldn’t do that again. But it struck him that I spent the whole afternoon living in fear. He didn’t want to have a child that lived in fear believing that his father was there just to punish him.

Our Father in heaven feels the same way. We are given the freedom to approach him with everything knowing that mercy and grace flow freely. Are you living in that freedom? Or are you sitting in your room afraid to ask? Think about it…

This is our last Sunday for the sermon series Watershed. It has been good so far and I’m looking forward to hearing what our Associate Pastor Wendell Thompson has to say. Here are the songs we are singing today.

Come Thou Fount

The Stand-Hillsong

Beautiful One-Tim Hughes

Everlasting God-Brenton Brown

Healer-Mike Guglielmucci

Glory Hallelujah-Mark Roach

I don’t do this enough. If most of you are honest you probably don’t do this enough either. Every time I get to take one that usually means that I’ve waited too long. This case is no different. Nonetheless, I’m getting to take a small breather for part of the weekend. I’m taking a once popular (but not for very long) stay-cation. We are getting ready to dig into a lot of new things at the church and that will for sure mean lots of hours and planning, so I need to take some time and pull back before it gets all crazy on me again. Also, this is the first weekend in about 7 that I haven’t had anything going on so I’m taking the chance to hide out for a couple days. I’m TOTALLY excited!!!

Why is it so hard for us to rest? This question is obviously for everyone, but specifically for my friends that work or have worked in churches. Why is it so hard for us to shut it down? I mean, we all can do that when it’s vacation time or something like that. But what causes us to act all Energizer Bunny all the rest of the time? I always wonder if we are overworked because they job calls for it or if we are doing it to ourselves. I haven’t come up with a conclusion yet, so don’t look for that answer. I’m learning that it is okay to rest, Biblical even. I am also going to be learning how to not run myself into the ground so that when I get a break I don’t feel the urge to sleep through the whole thing. Everyone needs the opportunity to recharge. I’m finally getting mine.

Honestly, I’m quite glad to see where this sermon series has taken this church. I personally didn’t think it would get this deep but it has totally done more than I expected. This Sunday was no different. We heard the story of one young lady in our church who felt like following Christ was just a whole bunch of boundaries that stopped her from being able to live her life. She later came to understand that Christ brings freedom and that has brought her so much joy!

This week I also had the privilege to sing with one of my best friends, Brittany Smith. As busy as she is she happened to have a free Sunday and so she came along and joined me on the stage and we led worship together. It was one of those weeks where a lot of stuff didn’t happen and a lot of people ended up not being able to make it so she filled in at the last moment. Nonetheless, here is the set list.

Opener- O Worship the King-Passion Hymns

Song Set

How Deep the Father’s Love For Us-Stuart Townsend

The Greatness of Our God-Jason Ingram (as sung on Hillsong’s Beautiful Exhange)

Blessed Be Your Name-Matt and Beth Redman

After Sermon Special

Call It Beautiful-Brittany Smith

Closing Song

Your Grace Is Enough-Matt Maher

We are wrapping up this sermon series  next week with what should be a pretty good message from our associate pastor, Wendell Thompson. Can’t wait to see how that turns out.

This sermon series is turning out to be quite good. If you are a reader and are looking for a church to visit, consider visiting The Word at Shaw. The stories that we are hearing are pretty good and I can only imagine what we will here over the next two weeks. This week we talked about having faith in troubled times and knowing that God is the one in control even when it feels like he’s not moving. Here are the songs from today.

Opener-Yahweh-Hillsong

Worship Set

All Creatures of Our God and King

Unchanging-Chris Tomlin

Glory to God Forever- Steve Fee

Have you ever been in a place where things are going well and then someone says something and this awkward silence hits the room? The first thing you want to do is sneak out the closest door or window and never return again. Sometimes it won’t even be about you, but the tension is undeniable and you can’t get away from it. You might even feel your stomach tighten up as the longer the situation continues. My wife actually can’t watch certain television shows because she gets embarrassed watching and has to leave. As a result, The Office was NOT one of her favorite shows. She starts to watch, gets uncomfortable, then leaves the room.

There’s also the flip side where you can be so physically uncomfortable that you are out of the game mentally. This happens sometimes when I’m leading worship. I tend to sweat when I’m leading worship and pretty regularly sweat will fall into my eye and completely throw off my concentration. It’s painful. It has to be fixed right away. It distracts me from doing what I need to do.

What about when things get spiritually uncomfortable? How do you handle being in a situation when you don’t know what to say when someone asks a question? What happens when you are asked to pray and that’s ‘not really your thing’? What happens when you are asked to lead worship in the summer when the air doesn’t work? Or better yet, outside in the sun (I’ve done both of those things)? How willing are you to do what God has called you to do even when it’s not the ideal situation for you? I’ve had the nerve a couple of times to consider not doing something because the accommodations weren’t what I thought they would be. I was quickly reminded of a man who died on a tree. Not the smoothed out lacquered things that we display in our churches. But a tree that caused as much discomfort as the nails in his hands and feet and the thorns on his head. Oh yeah, and he was dying for stuff that I did and nothing that he had done. That thought will knock you down a couple notches in a hurry.

We have to be willing to put ourselves aside sometimes because the job we are being asked to do may not always be in perfect weather or with the latest technology. But that doesn’t change the fact that we have a job to do and a message to get out to people, some of which may have never heard the message you are sharing. Would you not want them to get that message because you didn’t feel totally comfortable? I’m just sayin’…