I’m sitting in my kitchen right now at 8:10 on Thursday morning. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’ve been sitting here since before 6 o’clock this morning. That’s probably a little bad. Waking up isn’t a bad thing. I have been trying to do that a little more consistently (not quite THIS early though…). Here’s the bad thing for me, and I know I’m not alone. Musicians are quirky creatures. We like things to be a certain way and we seem to not work as well when they don’t work out. As a result, we obsess about things and hope that they go well. No matter what they say, musicians always obsess about music and concerts and upcoming shows.

Just in case you didn’t know, I am a musician. I am a musician who has a concert coming tomorrow night. If you haven’t heard the news, here’s the info. I am really excited about this concert because I love this aspect of being a musician. I love sitting on a stage and being able to interact with the people that are in the audience. It’s not an easy thing to do, and I love watching people that make it look effortless. And it’s something that I strive for when I do shows as well. Also, for those of you who know me, you know my heart and passion for music and worship. If you haven’t read it before now, here it is here. So trying to make sure that all of these things are portrayed in one evening is a big deal for me. How does that play out in my head? It plays out like this…

I tried to go to bed around 11:30 or midnight last night. I laid there and sort of slept for about 6 minutes. I spent the rest of the night tossing and turning. I had one of the most retarded dreams I’ve ever had. Something on the lines of going to an outdoor church service where the whole thing was sponsored by Bud Light and they had this HUGE holographic display. Then halfway through the sermon time, someone screamed that the piano player (not me) had JUST caught H1N1. Everyone ran off screaming and it just got more and more awkward from there. Anyway, around 5:30 I couldn’t take it anymore so I got out of the bed. I had been laying there thinking about intros and breaks and chord changes and harmonies and what I’m going to say and what the lights should look like and if the recording will work and how many people will show up and if any one will enjoy it…

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I started writing out song structures and laying out how the night will look. All I can say is that I’m in full obsession mode. Will it matter? Probably not as much as I think it will. Either way, it’s where I am. I hope that many of you can make it tomorrow night. My friend Liz Hitt is opening for me and she’s pretty good. This should be a fun night and I’m excited for it. I am blessed to be surrounded by some great friends and musicians and can’t wait to share this music with them and you if you show up. For information about the church and where it is, here’s a link to the church.

Pray for me that I can get some sleep between now and tonight’s rehearsal and tomorrow’s show. Did I mention that I am jumping on the highway Sunday after this CRAZY weekend? Yeah, I’m nuts!! Oh well…

I need some help…

I have to make some changes in my thought process. I have a strong desire to make music. I have a strong desire to create a group. This has been a strong desire for a long time and it won’t go away. Last night my wife TOLD me that I needed to just stop being a punk and do it. So I guess that’s what I’m doing. Here’s my problem…

I have a fear of rejection (which oddly enough, God has been helping me deal with lately with all these churches saying no to me…). I also have some insecurities about my own music. I like it, but I fear that others won’t. So I hesitate to share it with others because I don’t think people will think it’s worth it.

With all of that being said, my wife (again) has told me to go for it. I have a new purpose. My new purpose is to create a group from the ground up. I want to find people who have the heart and passion for this like I do. I realize that to some degree I have not because I ask not. This is something that I’ve kept to myself for a really long time. I’m done keeping it to myself. So this is my official call to any of the people out there that know me (or don’t know me yet) that love music.

That’s my new purpose. I need to help to stay the course because this is one of the few things that I can get discouraged about really quickly. So I would ask for some prayer from my friends and family. I will definitely need some prayer to pull this off.

So there you have it. Now, I’m off to mediocrity for a little while longer until my brakes get fixed. Hopefully I’ll be motivated to do some good stuff when I get home this afternoon/evening…

So, this song is one that not many people have heard before. However, the story behind this one is kinda funny. I was in a group at the University of Arkansas called Inspirational Singers. They are a gospel group on the campus of the U of A that is simply amazing. Anyway, we were working on some music for the group and was looking for something new to sing. The director asked me to come up with something simple that we could do. So I decided that I would sit down and write a song for this amazing choir and band. It turns out that I can write a song for a group pretty quickly when I put my mind to it. I’ll be the first to tell you that reading the words won’t do justice to what this song actually does. There’s a vamp at the end that I can’t even really describe with words because that would take too many words. Anyway, this song came out quite well and my wife got upset that I could come up with a song that fast. We ended up adding the song into the list for travel and concerts and it was a great confidence boost for me as well as a jump start into me really writing songs. We also ended up singing this song at the church I attended, Christian Life Cathedral, in Fayetteville, AR. It has been one of my favorite choir songs that I’ve written. My wife says it sounds kinda like a Disney song, but oh well. It works. Either way, here it is…

There Was You

Verse 1
How can I express my thanks for all that You have done?
I let other things rule my life
But You should be the only one
Many friends have come and gone
But You, my God, stay true
And after all of the pain
And after all of the rain
There was You

Chorus
After all the pain was gone there was You
After all the rain was gone there was You
You sought me when I was all alone
To live with You and share Your home
After all of the pain
And after all of the rain
There was You

Verse2
I couldn’t ask for anymore than what You’ve given me
You took me out of Satan’s grasp and gave me the victory
You let me walk with You each day to keep my faith anew
Cause even through all of the pain
And even through all of the rain
There was You

Chorus
After all the pain was gone there was You
After all the rain was gone there was You
You sought me when I was all alone
To live with You and share Your home
After all of the pain
And after all of the rain
There was You

Vamp
There was You
There was You
There was You
There was You
After all of the rain…

NEW SERIES!!! NEW SERIES!!!

I decided that it would be great fun to take some time and write about my songs and tell the stories behind them. I hope that you enjoy these next few posts about some of my favorite songs that I’ve written. As always, I’d love your feedback. I decided that I would start with one of my favorite song stories for the inaugural entry…

I was sitting at home one day when I got a message from a good friend of mine, Liz Hitt. She was getting ready for the annual singing competition called iSing St. Louis that is put on by joyFM. She asked me if I could write her a song that she could sing for the competition. I looked at it as a great challenge and thought it would be fun to do. So I got to writing. I thought all about her voice as we had spent a year together in a group called SpiritWing at Missouri Baptist University. I took all these things into consideration as I started to write. One line continued to stick out in my head…’All I need from You is everything I need for me; I cannot make it on my own.” So I started working around that concept. God really brought this song together in a flash!!! I still can believe how well that worked. Anyway, when it was all said and done, Liz didn’t end up using the song after all. So what did I do? I changed the key and made it work for my voice! It has become one of my favorites and a constant prayer in my life. I actually quoted it in a prayer time with my family last night. Btw, is that conceited to quote your own songs in a prayer? Hmmm…anyway, here are the words to this one.

The Only One I Call
Verse 1
You said You’d guide me if I was faithful and
I was close enough to hear Your voice
Your word would guide me in every step I take
Every move I make

Lord I trust that Your thoughts are higher than my own
Your love is better than any I have known
I can’t believe that You would care for me
Unconditionally

So my heart cries out to You…

Chorus
I want Your Word to guide my hands and feet
Your love to shelter me
Your grace and mercy to be everything I need
Your arms to catch me when I fall
To be my all in all
Your name to be the only one I call

Verse 2
I am overwhelmed by who You are
I can feel Your presence whether near or far
My heart is Yours to model as You please
You take good care of me

My heart’s desire is to be close to You
My life, my soul I’m giving that up too
I won’t continue standing in Your way
I’ll just begin to pray

As my heart cries out to You..

Chorus
I want Your Word to guide my hands and feet
Your love to shelter me
Your grace and mercy to be everything I need
Your arms to catch me when I fall
To be my all in all
Your name to be the only one I call

Bridge
All I need from You is everything I need for me
I cannot make it on my own
All I need from You is everything I need for me
I cannot make it on my own