I am a planner. I like to know what’s going to happen and when so I can be prepared. At the same time, I’m very trusting and so if you tell me that you got it then more than likely I will believe you until you prove that you don’t ‘got it’. Yes, that has come back to bite me a few times, but what can I say? That’s who I am. However, I can tell you for sure that when it comes to trusting God to handle a situation, you will always come out on top.

For those of you who know me personally, you know that I’ve had 2 very long stretches in the past 6 years where I couldn’t find a job. It was some of the most tiring, nerve wrecking, almost total of 40 months of my life. Not only is it really difficult to wake up every morning not having a job but to act like you do by spending all day looking for a job, but you also don’t know what’s going to happen. There’s no real money coming in and you have a wife and 2 children looking to you for support. It is really hard to move forward when you don’t know the details of a situation. But it was in all of this that I realized for sure that God is always in the details.

It was just a couple weeks before I was to graduate from Missouri Baptist University and I knew that my current job would be ending shortly thereafter and I thought that I was starting early enough to make plans for my next step in life. I was sure that my planning and working on details had put us in the perfect position to keep on going. However, God had different plans for me. He was getting ready to take me on a journey that would allow us to meet TONS of new people, go to some places that I didn’t think I’d ever be able to go and see new ways that God could use me. It was an awesome trip and as I look back at it I’m glad to see where God has brought me. It wasn’t so great when I was in the middle of it because I wasn’t the one making the plans. If I had my way I wouldn’t have been jobless struggling to keep my house and feed my family. But God was wanting to make sure that I still trusted Him to make the right decisions for me. And yes, I still do. It’s always good to remember that God is always in the details.

This moment is probably one of my favorites. Why you ask? Well, I’m pretty sure that it was this moment that formed who I am today. It’s really funny that once you start looking back on your life how well you can point to specific moments and their significance. This is DEFINITELY one of those times for me.

I was at John Brown University and I was still trying to figure out how I got to this school. I had made friends and was getting some idea of who I was, but I still hadn’t had that moment that I KNEW what I was doing. There was a night that I was with some of my friends from the Cathedral Choir after dinner and we decided to sneak back into the cathedral. Yes, I know that was bad that we snuck into the building, but we always thought that we should be allowed to use the room for practices and stuff. So this was our rebellion I guess. Anyway, we were all hanging out and everyone was singing and playing different stuff. Did I mention that that choir was filled with some of the most talented people I’ve ever known? Everyone that was in that group is pretty much all doing big things these days. As we were in the room, mostly in the dark, something really cool happened. This impromptu worship service just broke out. We started to sing and worship and pray together and it was unlike anything that I had ever been a part of. It wasn’t a planned service. It wasn’t an organized meeting. It was just worship with friends. It was at that point that I realized what I wanted to do. I wanted to work my hardest to recreate worship with that level of intimacy on a regular basis. Sure, it isn’t an easy thing to do in a larger group like at church. But even today it is a goal of mine to create an opportunity to worship where you feel so close to the Father and the people around you as well.

This moment will forever be in my mind. Not only was it a cool time, but it was also the point that I realized who I wanted to be. It was my worship watershed moment.

It was a dark, rainy night as I sat on the concrete seat under the huge flagpole in the front of University City Senior High School. Earlier I had left my house and taken a walk not really sure where I was headed. But when I ended up there, it made sense. It was the summer of 1999 and I had graduated from this very high school earlier that summer and on the floor of the UMSL gym I had realized that I had no idea where I was going next. I had loved high school and had started to come into my own while I was there. At the same time, one of the most  life changing and scary moments of my life to that point had happened in high school as well. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to go off to college even though I had letters to come play baseball to many schools and could have laid out my life for good. However, I couldn’t commit to anything because I wasn’t sure what I was committing to. Even more, I wasn’t sure WHO I was committing to. I was paralyzed by the fear of not knowing what was next. But on this rainy night I made it to the school and as I sat there in the pouring rain. I prayed to God that He gave me some kind of idea that he was real. At that point, I felt God say to me that he was gonna take me on a journey, I just had to be ready to go on it. For whatever reason, that was enough for me. I was assured that I wasn’t alone and that there was a plan although I couldn’t see it. I’m sitting here now some 12 years later say that I still don’t know exactly where I’m headed, but I know that God is taking me there. But that night for me was the night that everything turned on its axis. It was then that everything that I had learned in my life at all the vacation Bible schools and hundreds of Sundays spent in church became real. It was a watershed moment, a real turning point for me. There were a couple different scriptures that then became super important to me and have stayed that way ever since. One of them was Philippians 2:1-10. The other was Zephaniah 3:17. The second one was scarier than the first because I knew at that point I wasn’t going to play baseball like I had groomed myself for the whole time. I didn’t know how that was going to happen, turns out it would later include a really large hill, a modified skateboard and a long night at the hospital. But that’s another story for another time.

Why am I sharing this? Well, we are getting ready to start a new sermon series in July titled Watershed. The dictionary definition is an important period or factor that serves as a dividing line. We are looking at different stories in the Bible as well as hearing stories of people who have had an experience in their lives that they can specifically look back to. This week will be dedicated to these types of stories. My hope is that some of my stories will help you understand what you may be going through right now. Or to help you see that you aren’t alone. So stayed tuned this week as I share some different stories in my own life and how they have shaped who I am. I’d love to hear from you readers as well. Tell your story. I’d love to hear it. I’m excited to see what God can do during this week. Let’s GO!

I can’t believe that I’m actually getting a chance to write this! I woke up this morning and still couldn’t believe that happened. Anyway, the show was really good from top to bottom, so I’m gonna start at the top. First things first, The Old Rock House is an awesome place to see a show. There is such a great atmosphere and the size of the room creates an opportunity for you to get up close and personal with the artists. It’s also a big enough room to where you can fit a nice group in. There were probably about 200 people there last night. GREAT group for a concert like that one. It turned out to be a great room for an a capella group. But more on that later…

I was introduced to a new group last night called Dots Not Feathers. The link there leads to an article from the Riverfront Times. They are the 2011 winners of the Best New Band. They have such a cool sound. Their instrumentation included a banjo, electric guitar, acoustic guitar, piano, synth, and drums. It was a really unique experience. A lot of times when a group is new they tend to try and go overboard in a live show and they try too hard to be liked or make their mark. DNF just got up there and let the music speak for itself. And it did. There were some great melodies and great vocal harmonies and they were a joy to listen to. The piano player (which I always notice) had such a solid voice. Katy Durrwachter’s voice was so smooth and she had some great control. I really enjoyed this group and their newest EP, ‘Come Back To Bed’, is getting its second listen right now. You should check it out because it really is a good listen. I recommend it and give it a B.

Then there was Committed. It was so surreal to see the guys that were only on my TV now be standing 6 feet from me on a stage (I was sitting at the first table of course). They opened just like they opened the show. The first thing you realize with them is they are real. I mean, even when you hear them on TV you want to think that they haven’t altered anything on TV, but you can’t be sure these days. These guys are the truth and it was evident from the very first chord. And yes, the first words of out of their mouths were “I was so high I didn’t recognize…”. The place went nuts. That pretty much was the case for the rest of the night. They did all of their songs from the The Sing Off and there was much rejoicing. These guys sang for over an hour and you didn’t really hear any wrong notes. As a musician, you tend to listen for these things. I know that a couple of times they couldn’t hear each other and that definitely affects your sound, but I won’t count that. When they were able to hear, it was on point. One of the things that I was really surprised by was the fact that the percussion was so strong. Of course, I’m sure they work hard on the percussion and the bass to be in sync. It was stinking cool to hear them do their thing live. Each of their voices were so smooth and rich and their harmony structures were great. Hearing them was crazy enough, but I bet if you’re in a room with them as they put them together you’re probably going to have your mind blown.

One of the things I noticed is how great they are as performers. They know how to put on a show. They got the audience involved and they gave us more than what we paid for. But the way to truly know that they were great performers was after the show. After the show they went back to being the humble guys from Alabama that are living a dream. They greeted everyone and signed everything and even stayed up long enough to take pictures (I got one). I was totally impressed as a musician and as a Committed fan.

Guys, if you haven’t taken the time to listen to this group, you need to. If you knew of Take 6, they are cut from the same cloth. And that’s not just because they went to the same school, come from the same town and have songs written for them by members of the group. Their new CD is slated to come out on August 30th. In the mean time you can hear their single, Break Free on iTunes. You can also do what I do and periodically watch the videos from this past season. Thanks guys for a great show.

It is hot in St. Louis right now. Today is the last day of spring and summer is trying to start today. Once you have lived here for a while you just get used to the heat and humidity of St. Louis summers. It’s a part of life. You know that you should leave your car windows cracked if you can because any type of moving air is better than the stifling, non-moving air that tends to break windshields. Anyway, this whole thing is not about how hot it is here in St. Louis.

I have personally been dealing with lots of things in my own heart and mind and it seems that the more you try to sift through things on your own the more doubt seeps into your thoughts. Lately I have been doubting if I am doing what I’m supposed to do and it is totally scaring me. But yesterday during church I was totally confirmed by what God did for my heart. I couldn’t believe just how much the doubt melted away as we worshiped during the service. It made for a great Father’s Day.

Sometimes we don’t realize just how much in need we are. I know I didn’t. I was so wrapped up in all of my own junk that it wasn’t until God started to melt away some things in my heart. I’m excited about this week. I can’t want to see what God has to say to me. I’ll write about it. Promise.

Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there! This service at The Word at Shaw should be a good one. The fathers are getting pretzels from Gus’s Pretzels, a famous St. Louis eatery. Here’s what you can expect to hear at the church this morning.

In Christ Alone- LOVE THIS SONG!

The Song Set

From the Inside Out- Hillsong

Mighty to Save-Hillsong

Hosanna-Paul Baloche and Brenton Brown

Middle Of It All-Harry Walls, IV

Yes, the last song was written by me. I wrote it for a friend’s project to help Joplin. People asked me to sing it and so I’m singing it after the sermon. Should be good. Or at least I think so. Come join us.

I am writing this blog today from my satellite office at Panera Bread in the Lake of the Ozarks. Just that statement alone would make NO sense with the title I chose for this, but go with me…

This week has been mentally and spiritually tough for me and I have struggled mightily in my own heart and my with some things. I knew that I needed to get away from what had become mundane and step outside the box. I’m totally grateful that I have a job where I can do that and know that people at home are praying for me. It allowed me to come out here and think. It allowed me to come to a place where no one knows me and I could just fade into the picture and work and clear my head. It’s been good so far.

Lately I have been on a futile endeavor to find my voice. No, not my singing voice, but my voice as I walk through life. I haven’t been able to find that place where I feel like I can share my true thoughts and heart. I don’t know if that is anyone’s fault other than my own, but I haven’t been fighting for my own voice to be heard. As a result, I have been in a bit of a spiritual tailspin without being able to stop. That becomes dizzying and really throws off your equilibrium. This has started a mad scramble to get back pointed in the right direction. I truly believe that last night was a start for me. Our worship rehearsal was a true time of worship for me and I could have done that for awhile. Everyone walked away with a feeling of having worshiped even during a practice. It did my heart real good. This trip today is also a big shot in the arm toward me getting pointed back in the right direction as well. Hopefully this ship can get turned real soon. I don’t like where I am right now.

Now that I’ve shared about me, do you ever find yourself in a situation where you don’t know which way is up? Have you ever tried to take step and just fall over because you’ve been spinning around for so long? Are you struggling to find your true north? Are you flying solo in your attempt to find that place? Have you searched for help from God or others to help you get settled and going the right way? I know I haven’t and that’s why I was in such disarray.

I’m finding my true north. Thanks to my friend Josh Cottrell for the terminology for this post. Here’s the passage that I’m using to get through this time. Everyone knows 5 and 6, but placed in context they are GOLDEN. Check it out.

1 My son, do not forget my teaching,
but let your heart keep my commandments,
2 for length of days and years of life
and peace they will add to you.

3 Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you;
bind them around your neck;
write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 So you will find favor and good successt
in the sight of God and man.

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
7 Be not wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.
8 It will be healing to your flesh
and refreshment to your bones.

I’m praying for you, friends. Will you pray for me too?

I admit, even as I wrote that title I was thinking of something completely different. Even though I know what’s in my head to write at this point, I can’t help but think about animals. But that’s not what I’m talking about this time. I have been thinking about looking back at the moments in my life that I just knew God was totally in control. We all have these moments and sometimes we have to look back at them to see where God has brought us and to help us understand where we are.

In 1 Samuel 7, Samuel sets up a stone and calls it ‘Ebenezer’ which means “Till now the Lord has helped us”. That territory had been marked by Samuel to help the Israelites remember that God had brought them to that place. We all need to be able to look at a moment and mark it knowing that God helped you get there. Sometimes we get focused on the situation as it looks presently and we overlook the fact that we are in a situation because God has placed us there. I know for a fact that I personally have been so focused on the problems and the situations at hand that I have forgotten the fact that God has placed me where I am. I have to look back at the moment that I could say that God was in control of the specific moment that I started this journey and know that He’s still in control now.

What about you? Can you look back at the moment in your life where you knew that God was in control and placed you where you needed to be? Have you lost sight of that recently or in the past because things were rolling out of control according to your own mind? Maybe you need to take a step back and look back to that place where you can say “The Lord has helped me”. I know I have to…

Sometimes people argue. Sometimes people drink. But for me, when it comes to dealing with pain or being overwhelmed I have to write. I must say that before I started writing I didn’t realize that I was overwhelmed. However, as I started to write the emotion started to take over. I was hit with the fact that my heart is broken and there is a healer. Why am I sharing this? Well I was asked to write a song for a CD for a fundraiser for the people of Joplin. I had been putting it off for a couple days because I had no idea where to start. I didn’t know where to pull my thoughts or motivation from and it was making it quite difficult for me to get started. So as I started today I realized that I was running from the fact that this whole thing is so much bigger than me and I couldn’t handle it. So I am a bit overwhelmed by it. But God is leading me through that feeling even now.

A question was asked on Twitter earlier this week that talked about where we find our motivation to do things. I think we find that motivation in different places. And it all depends on what you’re doing. For me, writing is a personal thing. It has been a while since I’ve written a song and I believe that it’s because I haven’t been able to straighten out all of the mess that’s in my head. I’m now starting to think that it may be the writing that will help me sort it out. I don’t know what that means for the future, but I know that for now it means that I’m writing this song for some people who are really hurting and need some hope. I hope this song brings hope to someone. We shall see…

I said yesterday that I was thinking a lot during my vacation about what I do. As a result I’ve been thinking about my impact in the world of worship leading. What impression am I leaving on this world for Christ through what I do? As I thought about this, I realized that I’m quite young and that impression is going to take quite a while to make. So I changed my thought process. What am I doing now to make an impact on a daily and weekly basis? Am I really being effective at being the person I feel called to be? These are questions I’ve been asking over the past 2 weeks or so. This week I’m sharing some of my observations about myself as well as other worship leaders that I have observed. I’m giving you things from this side and hoping that you share your thoughts from the other side. I love conversations.

As I mentioned yesterday, when it comes to leading on a Sunday morning I hate for me to be in the spotlight. I’ve also been learning that there is a delicate balance that needs to be there. So I’m learning how to use that balance. Today I want to talk about understanding the move of the Spirit. This is SUCH a difficult thing sometimes. I remember taking a class on this and we talked about something called the ‘River’ (check out Bob Sorge). It was about finding the place where the flow of worship AND allowing the Spirit to reign freely. That moment is sometimes so hard to find. And sometimes we find it and run away too quick. And believe it or not, sometimes we find it and try to make it last longer than it wants to. With all of that, sometimes it is hard for us to step out of the way and let God do what He’s going to do during worship. Sometimes I can get so focused on what things went wrong or right or things that need to be tweaked that I overlook what God is doing or wants to do with a particular set. As a result I can sometimes squelch what God is doing because I’m not happy with what’s going on. After a service ends where I know I’ve done that, I always wonder if people in the congregation notice it. So that is my question for the day. Can people who aren’t on stage notice when worship leaders are working too hard and end up getting in the way of what God is doing?