I’m sitting in my kitchen right now at 8:10 on Thursday morning. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’ve been sitting here since before 6 o’clock this morning. That’s probably a little bad. Waking up isn’t a bad thing. I have been trying to do that a little more consistently (not quite THIS early though…). Here’s the bad thing for me, and I know I’m not alone. Musicians are quirky creatures. We like things to be a certain way and we seem to not work as well when they don’t work out. As a result, we obsess about things and hope that they go well. No matter what they say, musicians always obsess about music and concerts and upcoming shows.

Just in case you didn’t know, I am a musician. I am a musician who has a concert coming tomorrow night. If you haven’t heard the news, here’s the info. I am really excited about this concert because I love this aspect of being a musician. I love sitting on a stage and being able to interact with the people that are in the audience. It’s not an easy thing to do, and I love watching people that make it look effortless. And it’s something that I strive for when I do shows as well. Also, for those of you who know me, you know my heart and passion for music and worship. If you haven’t read it before now, here it is here. So trying to make sure that all of these things are portrayed in one evening is a big deal for me. How does that play out in my head? It plays out like this…

I tried to go to bed around 11:30 or midnight last night. I laid there and sort of slept for about 6 minutes. I spent the rest of the night tossing and turning. I had one of the most retarded dreams I’ve ever had. Something on the lines of going to an outdoor church service where the whole thing was sponsored by Bud Light and they had this HUGE holographic display. Then halfway through the sermon time, someone screamed that the piano player (not me) had JUST caught H1N1. Everyone ran off screaming and it just got more and more awkward from there. Anyway, around 5:30 I couldn’t take it anymore so I got out of the bed. I had been laying there thinking about intros and breaks and chord changes and harmonies and what I’m going to say and what the lights should look like and if the recording will work and how many people will show up and if any one will enjoy it…

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I started writing out song structures and laying out how the night will look. All I can say is that I’m in full obsession mode. Will it matter? Probably not as much as I think it will. Either way, it’s where I am. I hope that many of you can make it tomorrow night. My friend Liz Hitt is opening for me and she’s pretty good. This should be a fun night and I’m excited for it. I am blessed to be surrounded by some great friends and musicians and can’t wait to share this music with them and you if you show up. For information about the church and where it is, here’s a link to the church.

Pray for me that I can get some sleep between now and tonight’s rehearsal and tomorrow’s show. Did I mention that I am jumping on the highway Sunday after this CRAZY weekend? Yeah, I’m nuts!! Oh well…

So I have to apologize before I really get into this because a lot has happened since I wrote that title. First off, I will say that I have been really productive this week. I started this week getting up early which is something that I’ve wanted to do for awhile. It has allowed me to really get some things done. I’ve written my own chord charts for my singers and musicians for the upcoming concerts. I’ve had 4 rehearsals (not including the one I’m getting ready to attend), and I’ve been doing a lot of stuff in preparation.

Here’s what I haven’t done so far…I haven’t finished the song for my brother in law’s wedding and I haven’t written out the cello and viola parts for the people who will be playing with me. I need to do that. I also have yet to find a job. So my ‘productivity’ seems a little bit hindered in my own mind.

My wife’s new idea is that I do a piano CD of songs that I could record. That would take some money, but not as much as it would take for a full blown project. I have thought about doing something like this. I’ve also thought about getting some equipment to record somet things at home. I don’t know how I would pull it off, but I would love to have some stuff at home to work with.

All of this to say…I’m really feeling discouraged as of late. Earlier this week, my facebook status said something about me having a fragile heart that I continue to put out there knowing that it could be crushed at any moment. Right now I’m feeling totally crushed. I feel that even though I’m working hard on getting music ready for concerts and worship stuff that no one will care and that it will all fall flat. I’m TOTALLY scared that I’m not going to be effective and that I’m wasting time and money on something pointless. Sometimes I question why I’m a musician. I struggle with it even more when I see friends around me who are doing the things that I would love to do. It’s not really a jealousy issue, but I wonder if I missed my chance because I see so many other around me who have made the move. Anyway, like I said, I’m a little discouraged.

And now that I’ve TOTALLY negatively promoted myself, I have a concert that is a little more than a week away at TimberRidge Community Church. Please come out if you can. I’ll have more info up about it as the time comes.

I may not like their baseball team (from the Northside that is…), but I must say that they have some people in the area that love God. That means more to me than anything. God truly blessed this weekend and I’m glad that I was invited.

I spent this past weekend at the The Church of the Good Shepherd in Joliet, IL. I was a part of a ministry team put together by Lay Renewal Ministries to do a Congregational Renewal Conference. I didn’t know what to expect because I had never done this before. I was a part of a group put together from LRM people from St. Louis, Green Bay and the upper peninsula of Michigan. We all descended on Joliet to lead this weekend conference. I obviously led the worship times, but I was also leading small groups and sharing testimonies. We got to get into the people’s homes with the coffee groups on Saturday morning. We also got to have some time where the women and men were split during Saturday’s lunch. Even though the men’s luncheon was outside, we really enjoyed it.

Now you may think that I’m being horribly insensitive, but one of my favorite times of the trip happened at Wendy’s. Yes, I love Frosties and Fries. Glad that Illinois was stocked with Wendy’s because I was REALLY needing it. Thank you, Illinois…thank you!

I am so grateful for the experience of leading these people to the foot of the cross. God did some great things during this weekend and I’m glad that he allowed me to be a part of it. I also got to meet some other great Christians. And I got to spend some time with people from Wisconsin with that great northern accent. Fun times…

So what’s on tap for this week? Well, I have vocal and band rehearsals this week as well as working with the ministry groups at mobap. Then this Sunday morning I have a concert at Waypoint Church. I will be a busy man this week. Please be praying because I am hoping that this ministry can take off. I would love for this to be my full time job, but it takes a lot to get going. We will see…

I owe you all a finish to that cliffhanger from last week. Maybe later today, maybe tomorrow…

I can’t believe just how busy this weekend has been. I haven’t been going a whole lot, or at least I don’t think I have. But with this weekend, I have spent time with my family, which is always good. I wrote a song on yesterday, which is something I haven’t done in a long while. I will debut it soon, once I think it’s ready. If you wanna hear it, you may want to find yourself at one of my concerts coming up within the next month. They are going to be fun. Today was really cool because I actually got to go to church today. I’ve been going to church, but I haven’t been able to go to my church. Even better, I got to go to church with my family. We rode together and things were good. I’m thankful for the weekend that God has given me.

So what’s coming up this week? Well, who knows. Each week holds something different for us these days. There are some things that definitely need prayer that I hope to share with you all soon. Before I forget, pray for the Cornwell family as my friend, Rob was diagnosed with colon cancer. I love this guy and I love how he is handling this. I mean, cancer is cancer, but he is ready for the fight. Pray that he can continue to fight with the Lord’s help.

I will be preparing for an upcoming church retreat I’ve been asked to lead worship for in Joliet, Il. I will be leaving Friday and coming back Sunday. Then it’s prep time for the Sunday morning concert at Waypoint Church in St. Peters.

OH! OH! OH! Before I forget, my brother in law is getting married! I alsmost forgot that. I told you, even though I didn’t go a whole bunch of places, a lot happened this weekend. Did I mention that he was getting married in a month? I gotta get busy preparing for this…

What else am I forgetting? Oh yeah!!!! Big news, but I’ll save that for later this week. You’ll just have to come back and read what I’ve got to say. This is BIIIIIIIG news…

I have decided that I was going to start taking better care of myself. I haven’t done a good job of that in the past and it has started to catch up with me. I don’t want it to overtake me completely so I started yesterday with a new workout partner. Good idea. A new workout partner who happens to be a great personal trainer…painful idea. Yesterday I went to the gym for the first time in like 5 years. It TOTALLY felt like it. As a matter of fact, it STILL feels like it. I have had trouble in the past 24 when it comes to sitting down or standing up or walking. My children have laughed at me. I guess I kinda deserved it because I looked ridiculously funny.

The cool thing about this is the relationship that is being built. I have someone helping me sculpt my body into something that it hasn’t been in quite a while and will be more glorifying to God (not because it’s more muscular, but because I’m doing what I can to take care of what God has given me). On the other end, I am able to help push and spur him on to being consistent in reading the Word and staying focused on God. We are working together that way. And I think it’s gonna be a good thing.

I’m hurting like crazy, I’m not even going to lie. But through the pain, I know that the results are going to show up soon enough. So pray for me that I don’t die or fall apart or things start to break. I have a goal to be “Perrty by 30″. I have started and I don’t plan on stopping. I don’t have a goal as of right now because I don’t want to set myself up for a feeling of failure. However, as things start to progress I may put some goals up for myself. We’ll see…

So, I told you earlier that I was going to start writing everyday, but I haven’t done that since Thursday. However, I’m starting tonight and my plan is to get going with my daily blogs. I’ll go ahead and give you a weekend update because this was a great weekend!

Friday night- I was given a surprise birthday by my G2G friends. Thanks to Lil for putting together an amazing night for me. For a woman who doesn’t eat meat, you sure can cook a mean brisket!! Thanks friend! I was able to spend some good time with some great friends. Unfortunately, we saw a HORRIBLE baseball game by the Cardinals. Other than that, great night.

Saturday- Took my girls to see the Toy Story double feature in 3D. GREAT fun. That’s a whole lot of movie though. I was tired after that was over with. After that, I spent the evening at Concord Church singing outside at their Fall Festival. That was a really fun time hanging out with Daniel and Tim and Matt and Christy and the new baby. I got to see Patti Endejan and Chloe. Sorry to Chloe for not bringing the girls. Either way, I had a GREAT time and got to have some amazing grilled corn dipped in butter. BEAUTIFUL!!! The saddest part of the night was when OU lost to stinkin’ Miami. That did NOT make me happy. That kinda brought me down. Oh well…

Sunday- Today was my dad’s 56th birthday. I love him dearly and was amazingly glad to spend the day with him at his church. Then my mom made a delicious dinner for dad’s birthday. That was really fun. This evening I spent at Sherwood Baptist Church listening to my kids in Shelter and Closer sing. They amazed me so much this evening. They all did such a great job! I felt like a proud father listening to them. They have all worked so hard and it showed tonight. But the night wasn’t over…

I got home and my wife had thrown me a dessert party with good friends, the Barnards, Mark (Kristy was out of town), Steph the Yarn Wizard (Jeremiah is in Minnesota GO TWINS!!!), Rob and Holly came as well. What a great time we had. We also came away with an amazingly clean house now. Good stuff. You should go check out Jim’s blog later because he’ll have pictures and stuff from tonight. Good times…good times…

I will wrap this one up by saying thanks to my wife. My wife knows how I have felt about my birthdays over the past few years. She did a great job of making me feel important on my day. Thanks, Eva! I love you so much. Thanks for everything you did to make me feel good about myself. Have a good night and let’s give God our best this week. That’s my plan anyway…

So, today’s my birthday. The title represents my actual birth. Yes, that makes me 29 years old today. Most would venture to say nothing really special about 29, but this is still the day that the Lord has made. I am rejoicing for that. I’m thankful for yet another year. 28 was rather up and down, but I’m thankful for it nonetheless. Now as I wrap up this day, I’m sort of gearing myself up for the upcoming year. I’ll give you some of today’s recaps, and then I’ll share some of my goals for the year so you can be praying and encouraging me this year. So first, the recaps…

First things first, I was awakened to the smell of coffee and bacon. Let me say, AMEN!!! I came downstairs to see that my family had turned our dining room into Daddy’s Restaurant. I had a myriad of choices as to what I could have for breakfast. I chose the Omelette with bacon and orange juice. I was given an orange roll for breakfast dessert. Good times. So I was thinking…this is gonna be a pretty cool day. Then my wife told me that I could upgrade my phone for my birthday. So I went and picked up my dad and we went to the AT&T store and I got another iPhone. Welcome to the world of 3G. Why didn’t they do this with the first one? I’ll never understand. Anyway, I spent some time with my dad, a new iPhone owner, helping him learn to use his and setting up my new one. I learned that I don’t like having to set up a new phone. I finally got my first one to look and act like I wanted it to. Now I’m having to start all over again. Not enjoying THAT part. But I guess that’s not that big of a deal.

Next I came back home and realized that there weren’t really any more plans. I got kinda sad and it sort of tapped into some feelings I have about my birthday that I won’t go into right now. But I am trying to get past all that. Then we had dinner (the restaurant was back open), and it was time to eat birthday cake. One of my all time favorite things to do. Well, Brisa decided that she wanted to get it. Against her better judgement, Eva decides to let her bring it in (it’s a small cake). She said, “don’t drop it!” Brisa said, “I won’t!” 4 seconds later…well I’m sure you can guess what happened… So Eva gets up and runs into the kitchen to find a cake on the floor. Btw, I’m only listening at this point. I hear my wife begin to talk to Brisa about dropping the cake. Brisa then blames her mom saying that if she would have helped her like she wanted her to (which she never asked for help) then it would have never dropped. When Eva begins to tell Brisa that she can’t blame other people for what she did wrong, Brisa throws the ’2′ and the ’9′ that was supposed to top the cake. And the ’2′ broke. Now my wife is FURIOUS!!! The cake has been dropped AND the numbers have been broken. Cake disaster. Now, I’m writing my blog on my birthday at 6:32 because this day is pretty much a wrap. And that, my friends, is my 29th birthday.

So here are my goals for this year…

I WILL lose a dramatic amount of weight this year. I’ve decided that I’m gonna be ‘Purrty by 30′. That’s my new motto. I have a personal trainer friend that is going to be my new workout partner starting Tuesday. I’m excited about this opportunity and I see this working really well. I WILL work hard at my music this year. I have a couple concerts coming up this month and I really hope that they turn out well. . Along with that, I plan to GET IN THE STUDIO!!! I’m the biggest reason that I haven’t done it. So that means I need to be the biggest reason that I get in. I also want to take a page from my buddy Jim Barnard and try to do this whole blogging thing everyday. I think it’s something I can start doing and be consistent with.

So there you are…Harry’s birthday update. Take from it what you wish, but that’s what it is. Happy October everyone.