I’ll stand, with arms high and heart abandoned. In awe of the One who gave it all. I’ll stand, my soul Lord to You surrendered all I am is Yours… The Stand Hillsong

Let me start off by saying that I love this song! I appreciate Hillsong and their ability to capture the heart of this Christian walk in song. Another job well done. Anyway…

I was thinking about this the other day and was really struck by the depth of these words. Abandoning your heart is such an amazing concept. When I think about what that means, I am immediately convicted. As a worship leader, I want to be a person who strives to live this type of thing out on a regular basis. Abandoning my heart means that I am putting aside all the things that I think are right or should be happening. I will be the first to say that I don’t do that well all the time. Thanks to songs like this I am reminded to put Christ first and step aside and let Him do what He does.

Right now, I have a lot of things going on in my hear and mind and I want to make the right decisions. I am generally an internal processor and I don’t always do a lot of talking before I work out some initial things in my head. I’ve been doing a lot of that lately, and I’m realizing that without an abandoned heart, I can put some things in the way and as a result not process clearly. I have to be able to clear out the things that are in the way so I can start to hear God more clearly.

Ultimately, the end result has to be me taking a stand for Christ. Anything that does not result in me standing for him means that I’m standing for myself. There’s nothing in me worth standing for. I’m choosing to surrender my soul and give all I have to the Lord. I gotta believe that He knows what’s best for me. From what I understand, he has a plan or something… (Jer. 29:11)

So I’m sitting here on campus while I watch the ice fall from the sky. I’m also trying to figure out why I’m here. But that’s beside the point now. I’m writing now to tell you all about an event that’s coming up that I’m really excited about. We finally put it all together and have things in place for the first event that is being called story:song:life.  This event comes from the idea that songwriters are also storytellers and we are sharing our stories through music. It was also created as a way to bridge the gap between Christian and non-Christian songwriters and musicians. We are excited to see this thing take off. The first one will be February 20th at 7pm. It will be held at West Hills Community Church. The goal and desire is to have the event be held at different venues for the sake of variety and involving other people. If you want to hear more about it, be there Friday night. By the way, there’s going to be some good music, too. Along with myself, Brittany Howard, Eric Bausell and Christy Kelly will be performing that night. You don’t want to miss this at all, I promise. If you have any questions, email me at harry.walls4@gmail.com. I might even write something else about this as it gets closer because we are in the process of creating a site for this ministry. Stay tuned…

When God does what He does, it’s amazing! I know this will come across as a start contrast from the last post, but that’s what God can do. I am a firm believer in God working in what we call ‘behind the scenes’. It only seems that way because we don’t always see what He’s doing. God is never behind the scenes.  This weekend was such a good one for me because I was able to hear the Father speak in ways that I hadn’t heard in quite awhile.

This has been a good time for me. I can’t even begin to tell you all about it. My goal is to share with you my thoughts about my life and the future and what it may look like. Keep praying for me, I need it!

So, generally I’m one to keep my personal things pretty clear from other people’s thoughts because I feel like other people have other things to deal with to have to think about my problems and issues. For whatever reason I’ve decided that I’m throwing that theory out the window at least for today.

My heart is truly overwhelmed and I don’t know what to do with myself right now. I’m really tired and am not enjoying my life. That is just a weird feeling for me because I have so much going on. Maybe that’s the problem with me right now. I have a lot going on and I don’t know where to start. My usual approach to dealing with things has turned into NOT dealing with things and watching them fall.

I feel really lonely right now. I don’t feel like I have anyone that I am ‘experiencing’ life with right now. My life is mostly a bunch of due dates and meetings and I feel as if I’m running in circles.  I don’t know how else to explain these feelings, but I know that they are there. I know that there are people that love me, and there are people that I love, but I am struggling with connection. I don’t have anyone really that I feel is really in my life moving me forward. As a result, even though I have people all around me that I interact with, I feel like I’m out here all alone.

I could go on forever about lots of stuff, but I just want to ask all of you for prayer because I really need it because I don’t know right from left right now. I am not a big fan of facing the day when it comes and would much rather just sleep than get anything accomplished. I don’t feel like I have anything to offer and so I’d much rather stay to myself.

Pray that I can hold on to what I know to be true. Pray that I let the Father in and work in my heart because it’s really broken right now…

So I was just thinking about this while I’m sitting in this class. I, like most of the universe, watched as Barack Obama was inaugurated this morning. I listened to what he said in his speech. I had a warmer seat than the 2 million people that were out there listening to him. The first thing I’ll say is what a historical time! I still can’t believe it to some degree. This is something I never thought I’d see, and am glad that I was available to see it. I think about my grandparents who lived when the fight for equality was even more real than we know right now. I can’t wait to see what the new editions of the history books and how they include such a thing. With that all being said…

A lot of promises were made this morning. I wouldn’t have expected anything else from the new President of the United States. If he can do HALF of the things that he is working toward during his time in office, I’d say WOW! He has a pretty aggressive plan. And like we do in this country, we will hang all our hopes and dreams on this one person. In reality, he doesn’t have much choice but to fail. Not because I don’t think he can do it, but there are so many expectations and he is not going to be able to meet them all. Personally, I pray that President Obama will have success in his time. I don’t envy him at all and don’t want his job.

What am I trying to say? I’m saying that we are all getting ready to put a trust in a man who is going to put us all down. He may not do it right away, and some of us may never feel like he can let us down. But let me tell you, believe it or not, Obama is human and will let us down. With that in mind, I can’t totally put my trust in him. He gets much respect for who he is and I’ll always give him that. But when it comes to who I put my trust in, I’ll trust God my Creator every time. He created Obama. He created me. He created any of you that may read this. He’s the only One that can take care of us as a people and a country. Are you giving him the trust that He deserves? Or have  you thrown your trust at ‘change’? I plan to stick with the One who’s been the same from day one and won’t change forever (Hebrews 13:8).

I actually started writing about this the other day, but stopped because I wanted to think about it some more. And so I did. My thoughts are pretty simple, and I don’t claim to be anything special, but God has given me something and I choose to share it with others. Here’s what I’m thinking…

I’m asking this question because I know that I’m guilty of having done this before.  We try so hard to make sure we say the right things or put up the right faces and fronts, that we overlook what it’s all about. I learned all the good stuff to say when I was younger, and now I’m realizing that this life is really only about one thing. Jesus Christ and what he did for us. As I continue to grow in Christ and this walk, I am seeing that people want to know what’s real. And at the end of the day, the one thing that I know is real is Jesus Christ.

I’m starting to realize that Paul was right (which has been the case for awhile). In his writing to the Corinthians, that was his prayer. I want that to be my prayer. I want to be able to say to everyone around me that I want to know nothing but Christ. That’s where everything starts, that’s where everything ends. Oh yeah, Happy birthday, Brittany Howard!

So, this year has already brought challenges in my life. I expected it to, because life always brings challenges. I didn’t think that I wouldn’t get through 10 days before things started to happen. Oh well, that’s life I guess. I think that God is getting me ready for something big…something I haven’t quite imagined yet. I don’t really know WHAT God has for me right now, but he doesn’t do anything half way. Here’s what I do know. I’ve been called to lead people in worship through song and I’ve been given a gift that I cannot take for granted. I know that if I’m going to do what it is I want to do I have to just step out and start doing it. I am preparing myself to move forward. I don’t know what that means quite yet, but I’m writing again. I’m even going as far as starting to set up possible opportunities to sing. For those of you that know me, this is a big deal. I don’t normally just promote myself. I don’t really know how to do that.

Anyway, I’m asking for your prayers as I attempt to step out of a comfort zone that has been there for a really long time. I’m quite scared, but I want to be obedient to God. Pray that I can listen to God AND respond the way I’m supposed to. That’s been the big issue for me. I have been running from some things because I’m scared of the outcome because I can’t see it. I need to start following God’s lead. Believe it or not, I’m not that great a leader…

I am called to lead people in worship. I am called to minister to people through song. I am called to be a servant. I am called to be a leader. I am called to help people unite their hearts with Christ. I am called to help people turn away from the distractions of life and focus on the God that saves and sings over us.  I can’t do any of that while I’m looking backwards and holding on to my fears. I can only do that if I turn around and begin to move forward. So lead the way, God, lead the way…

Okay, so the title was a BIT much, but at least you looked at it.

I was reading about my friend David and ran across the passage in 2 Samuel 6 when David was dancing before the Lord as they brought the Ark back to Jerusalem. This struck me in a couple different ways. The first thing that stood out was that Michal was upset that he was doing that and called him on it later, but we’ll get to that. The other thing was the completely uninhibited worship that David gave to the Lord. Now, I’ve read this passage many times, and I’ve always taken notice of it. But as I look through the redefined filter, I see something that excites me. Yes, we have heard it mentioned that David danced out of his clothes, or that he didn’t care who was around because he was dancing to the Lord. I think what made me take notice today was that David was free. That freedom came, however, after some teaching.

I recalled that David and his men, some 30,000 of them were already celebrating as they were bringing the Ark back. There was a little break in the action when Uzzah reached out to touch the Ark because the oxen slipped. When he was struck by God, David got mad, then scared and wanted nothing to do with the Ark. After 3 months of seeing someone else receive the blessings of the Ark, and I’m sure there were some conversations with God, he realized that the Ark was good and he must complete the mission at hand: getting the Ark back to Jerusalem. David’s understanding of who God REALLY was and his plan for the covenant brought magnificent freedom in the heart and soul of King David.  It was THEN that he was seen dancing in his underclothes. I think you really have to be dancing hard to dance completely out of a layer of clothing!

So what am I saying? True worship and true joy come from understanding. Yes, they were already celebrating before, but it wasn’t until after Uzzah died and that time in between where God showed himself through the Ark that the Israelites realized how much they had to celebrate about. We can watch other people worship and even have a basic understanding of what it means to worship ourselves. But true, unfiltered, ‘naked’ worship comes from a deeper understanding of the God who loves us so much that he sent his son to die in our place so we wouldn’t have to. That’s a reason to jump up and down and dance with all our might. And when you’ve completely stripped away all the hindrances between you and God, you can experience something so powerful and you won’t care what you look like to others. People will approach you about how your worship looks, just like Michal did to David. But you will stand firm in knowing what God has done for you. I love David’s response to Michal in verse 22. “I will make myself yet more contemptible than this, and I will be abased in your eyes…” He was basically saying, “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet!”

Are you willing to be naked in your worship before God? Are you willing to take your worship to a new level? That really means that you have to listen to God for a better understanding of who He is and what He has done and wants to do in your life. Let Him begin to redefine your worship and you’ll start to strip away some of the ugly things that stand between you and him.

I am very excited about 2009! I can’t believe that God has brought me to this point in my life. I have a lot of things to be thankful for, and I know that God is continuing to use me, which is why I’m still here. What does that mean for this year, though? I believe that this year is going to be a year for letting God of the things that I’ve held on to for so long. I am not a selfless leader or father. I am not good at taking care of myself. I am not a great studier and reader of the word. All of these things I want to do better this year. Along with all of that, I want to be a better worshiper. I am called to lead people in worshiping the Father. That’s what I’m here for and I’m committing to going all out in 2009.

Keep your eyes out for the Worship180 project this year. I know that God is calling me to move forward with this ministry, and I know that He’s going to do what’s necessary to get me in line with Him.  I don’t know what else to tell you about it right now, but keep praying for me and I could use your encouragement in making this thing come to life. I am willing to share with anyone who is willing to listen. I am also preparing information about what this ministry that I’m calling Worship180 is all about. If you would like to know more details or be involved in an email newsletter type thing, send me your email address. And if you like to get mail (like I do), send me your address and I can send things that way.

Ultimately, I want to say Happy New Year to all of my friends. This will be a New Year, Redefined…but it has to start on the inside. Who wants to go with me?