I have a confession to make. I am always looking to what’s next. I look to what’s next in cars. What’s going to be the next phone. What’s going to be the next Jordan design. What’s the next album my favorite artists are putting out. Why is wearable technology not taking off as much as people thought. What’s going to be the next step. What’s my team going to do to overcome last year’s faults. I am always looking ahead. While this doesn’t seem too bad, it can be detrimental if it’s not kept under control. Where on one side it seems like I’m just keeping up with the times, other the other side it translates into me being feverish in my pace of life. That is hardly ever good for me. Next appointment. Next deadline. Next song in the set. Finish the next week’s set. Get through rehearsal. Get through this meeting. Plan another meeting. Before I know it, my life is filled with just getting things done and those things don’t have much meaning in my life other than the check mark beside them on my task list. I do this with meetings. I do this with church. I do this with prayer. I do this with my family. And it’s not good.
I have lived in Silicon Valley for the past 4 and a half years. During this time I have grasped the idea of perpetually busy. I have mastered it. Like seriously, I should have a degree. My schedule overwhelms me and the people around me sometime. And for some reason, we have switched over to judging our coolness based on how busy we are. It used to be about the coolest car or clothes or video game system. Now it’s literally how much time we don’t have to sleep or do normal people things like eat at normal times. It’s kinda ridiculous actually. While busy seems to be the in thing, in reality my spiritual walk has been suffering. I haven’t been taking the time to really reflect on who God is and what he means to me and why that’s important to my job as a worship pastor. I’ve just been picking songs because songs needed to be picked. I haven’t even been liking all the songs that I picked, but at least that set list was done. I would feel so much worse if I thought I was the only worship leader in the world who did this. But I know I’m not, so I won’t let you judge me either
Here’s what I do know. I know that when I decided to slow down, readjust my time and my focus, I started to realize that I was off the path that God wanted me on. No, I’m not changing careers or churches. But I’ve been forced to look at how I’ve been approaching my worship ministry. What I had to wrestle with was the fact that God isn’t as interested in how my music sounds or how clean my rehearsals are run or if the transitions hit right. He’s interested in me. After all this time he’s still just interested in me. He’s just interested in you. He still isn’t interested in how much you can do in 24 hours, or that you’ve been working so hard that you just passed out for a whole day. He’s interested in you spending time getting to know him and allowing him to speak to you.
I’ve been retraining myself to do that lately. And you know what I’ve found, God’s word is pretty cool. I’ve also found that the songs that I’m leading have more meaning than they have in a long time. I’m finding that it’s exciting to get up on Sunday mornings again. Sure, it has only been a month, but that’s big for me as of late. Sometimes we can get so distracted and overwhelmed by life that we don’t have a good view of where He wants us. We keep trying to put our feet down where we think the ground is, only to realize that we are actually upside down and need to be flipped over.
A couple years ago while with my family in Santa Cruz, I made a crucial mistake at the beach. I turned my back on the ocean while I was in it. When you turn your back on the ocean, it rarely ends well for you. I was there talking to a friend while standing in calf deep water when all of a sudden I, all 5 foot 11 inch, xxxxxx lbs of me was thrown. I struggled for what seemed like 90 minutes trying to find the ground, air, my shorts which were falling off. It was something to behold from what I’ve heard. When I was finally able to ground myself, I was easily 200 yards from where I had started. At that point I learned from my previous mistake and started to make the trek back to my highly amused family. It is still a highlight of conversation to this day.
Sometimes you get tossed to and fro by life. Sometimes you get so busy that you get thrown all over the place, only the settle and find out that you are nowhere close to where He wants you. The beauty is that once you get your feet under you, he’s never too far away that you can’t get back to him. What in your life has you so tossed and scattered that you aren’t currently where he wants you? What’s it going to take to get you moving back in the right direction?