I must confess that I’m not exactly sure what this post is going to look like in the end. All I know is that I wanted to write something to get my thoughts out. There is so much swirling around up there and I just need to see it in print so maybe it will start making sense. Let’s see…

We have a baby coming! Holy cow! there’s a baby coming! There’s so much still left to do and we aren’t ready for it. Not only that, we are pretty sure that we won’t be able to travel together as a family once he gets here. So we’re making sure that his room looks great since he will be spending lots of time there. HA! But we are so excited to meet the little guy. I can’t believe the time is so close now. I don’t know what to think yet.

We are still job search and wondering…THAT’S why I wrote that up there. We are still wondering. Wondering what God has in store for us. We don’t know anything more than we’ve known in the past 19 months. We have met a ton of new, cool people and think they are all doing some really great things. At this point, for whatever reason, we haven’t been asked to join any of those works. Honestly, I’m scared out of my mind. Nothing has worked in so long and we’ve been so close many times. Even now, there are a couple things that look like they could work. One of them is something that we REALLY want to get excited about. It’s so hard to let go and do that. We’ve become so guarded in our hearts that we are afraid to let go of that. At this point we are just waiting to hear yes and THEN get excited. I don’t know if that’s right or not, but that’s where we are. Pray for the Walls family. We are really going through right now.

Even after the job thing finally settles itself, there are a myriad of issues that stem from not having a job for over a year. Lots of financial issues to attempt to tackle and things that need to be done to our house and vehicle, getting another vehicle….AHHHHH!! Life!!! It keeps going no matter what!

So that, my friends, is what I’m wondering. In other news, I’m still working on music in the factory (music nook in my house). Ideas keep flowing and I’m just waiting to get back to recording. Soon enough…

So I’ve joined this men’s Bible study and so far it’s been pretty good. We are currently reading through the book of Jeremiah. Last night we were talking through chapters 9-11. Now if you’ve ever read Jeremiah, you know you really have to dig to find something to talk about in those first chapters. Seemingly there’s not much there. However, as we started to dig, we saw a people who were creating their own idols to worship. We then noticed that God was doing his best to use Jeremiah to tell the people of Israel that their God was the one that created all the things they were using to create their own idols (Jeremiah 10).

We opened up an interesting conversation about if the people that were creating things didn’t feel like they were doing anything wrong because they were creating art. In today’s world so many things are thrown under the umbrella of art and therefore we must just have to ‘accept’ it as that. Interesting question I thought. So I thought I would pose this question to you, the readers of this blog. God has given us himself and it is our job to worship Him and give Him thanks for everything that He has done for us. That doesn’t leave us much time to create other things to worship. We have been given gifts that we can use to worship Him like music, art, writing and other things. But it was never His goal for us to then worship the things that we create. That’s my take. What’s yours?

I have to say that I have no idea what God is doing. Not that I haven’t known that before, but he isn’t doing anything now to make me know any time soon. So I have to reiterate that to myself. As I do that, I have to then look at how much he is continuing to do. First things first, I have no idea how we still have a house, but we do and God is sustaining that whole thing. I’m thankful for the friends God has given me. I finally think we are starting to connect with them. We’ll see how that goes. I also am thankful for our church community. Being a part of a community like that is great. Being able to settle in with true believers is really comforting. For all these things (and more) I’m totally thankful.

This one will be short, but I just wanted to challenge and encourage you all. I’m sure I’m not the only one going through hard times, and I’m sure I’m not the only one that is focusing more on the tough stuff than the God who handles it all. I just want to remind us all (myself included) to continue to look to the cross. Have a great Wednesday. I’m going to get back to job searching.

People always say “there’s so much I just don’t know where to start…” I’m going on record as REALLY not knowing where to start. There are so many things that have happened in my life over the past summer that I don’t know where to begin. So therefore, I’m just gonna jump right in. My disclaimer, this could be long…

First things first, I still don’t have a job. We’re going on 14 months now. This has been such a trying time for our family. However, the one thing that’s really crazy is how God is continuing to bring us closer together. I don’t know how that’s worked, but it has been truly amazing. Please continue to pray for the Walls family as we fight and pray through this time. Only God can get us through this and that’s all we can expect.

We are 32 days away from the arrival of Harry Ernest Walls, V. I will say that I’m super excited! I was definitely excited about my 2 girls, but there’s a completely different feeling knowing that this is my boy. Continue to pray for my wife as she has not enjoyed being THIS pregnant in THIS heat. I don’t envy her, but I definitely applaud her. She’s amazing!!!

We started tracking work on 3 songs for the new CD. They are going to sound absolutely great. I’m having so much fun with this whole thing. I still can’t believe that it’s true right now. On the musical front, I’m going to try out for iSing St. Louis again this year. Who knows what will happen…

This summer I lost one of my good friends, Rob Cornwell. This earth will never be the same without him walking on it. I was given a HUGE honor in planning his memorial service. We proceeded to pack out the Pillsbury Chapel at Missouri Baptist to honor one of God’s great men. You are TRULY missed, bro!

I’m thankful for relationships. It seems as if some things are starting to take some shape in the life of some friendships we have. I’ll keep you posted on that. In a related note, I went to the first Bible study with some friends in a REALLY long time. It was cool and weird all at the same time. I don’t know how to process it yet.

I’m SURE that there’s something I’m missing because as I said before, there’s SO much going on and so much I haven’t written about. I am getting back into my own schedule now that the girls started back into homeschooling. That means I should get back to writing more regularly. I was starting to think that I was only writing these things and then reading myself so I could say someone did. But I’ve run into at least 4 people in the past couple weeks that I didn’t know that have read this blog so that must mean that other people are checking this out. That makes me happy and I’ll keep doing it. Have a great Monday.

Yesterday for July 4th just in case you all missed it and there was NO noise in your area. The coolest part of this day for me was yesterday morning. Our worship service was extra amazing Sunday. It could have been the fact that we had a full house when we were expecting less than that. Or it could have been that the service flow was so well put together. Or it could have been that the band was ridiculously good (and I’m not just saying that because I was a part of it). Or it could have been that the sermon was great yet again. I think it had more to do with the one that we were worshiping…

I tend to believe that it had a lot more to do with the purpose for us getting together. We serve a God that is so powerful and so in control that he created this time for us to give back to Him. We were there for a reason and it just so happened yesterday that nothing else got in the way of that. There were no other agendas or people trying to promote themselves. Everyone involved in making yesterday’s service happen had one specific purpose. Make God Famous. And did that happen yesterday!!!

The part where it gets difficult is what happens on Monday. What are you doing to live with purpose today? Are you living with purpose when you head to work or to the store? That’s the question for today and everyday. Do what you can to live for the purpose of making God famous. That’s MY desire for today. Be blessed friends.

I have spent the past three days at a conference for the Classical Conversations method of homeschooling. There have been lots of things said over these three days (what else would you expect from a room of 40 plus women???) The major point was about the shift toward a utilitarianistic (just made that up) world. Living a life of utility almost forces out the concept and idea of God. That thought has clicked on some things in my head. I have thought about that in many ways, but especially in my own realm of worship in the church.

I attend an awesome church community at First Free Church called Quest. We speak constantly about being a place for the skeptic, inquirer and the already convinced. The whole idea of the skeptic has been placed in a new light for me this week. Skeptics are really skeptical (DUH!) and they are getting more and more skeptical everyday. Something that I’ve come to realize is that the thing that most people are skeptical about is Christ and the thought of God creating this world. That statement then is followed by a million more statements, but that’s not what this is about. This is about how to create and present music that is relevant to skeptics and already convinced alike. Periodically, I get to spend time talking with my friend, Alisha. Whenever that happens, we get to talk about the relevancy of the service that we attend on a regular basis. We talk about lot of different aspects of the worship service, but we don’t always talk about the music. It’s not because we think our music is perfect (because we don’t), but there are so many other things that we put as more important than that in our worship experience. All this to say that I believe that we should look harder at the concept of worship from the mind of a skeptic.

How does worship music look to the skeptic? We are always inviting people to our churches and a lot of times we tout the quality of our music and worship. But does our music really present something that the skeptic can connect with? Our music is distinctly Christian (which is GREAT), and I wonder if sometimes our music is turning skeptics away before they hear the message that is being preached that morning. Now I’m not saying that we need to start adding Usher and Miley to our song sets on Sundays. That’s the OTHER extreme. But I want to be able to think about what our worship and music time is saying to those that are coming to our church. Worship leaders, what are you thoughts about this? Church attenders, what are you thoughts about this? Skeptics (if any of you read this), what do you think about this? Let me hear from you…

It’s hard to let go. It’s hard to not be the one controlling a situation and being the one making sure that everything works. It’s hard to let go because no one likes to fall. Falling is painful. Falling leaves bruises. No one likes to fall.

So it’s no wonder that we struggle so much with that one thing when it comes to following Christ. We are being asked to let go of everything and trust that someone we can’t see will catch and hold us. It’s hard to do. It’s even harder to explain. When it comes to engaging the world, we have to share this part of the Christian walk and get the world to grasp the concept. But do we really grasp the concept? I know that I don’t do it well. Going through this whole season of joblessness, it has been totally hard to let go. And we don’t have anything!!! Yet I have tried with everything that I have to keep a tight grasp on the little we have left. I was hit with the thought yesterday that if I spend all my time holding tightly to the little bit that I have right now, I’m leaving no fingers for reaching out for the Father. He wants to hold my hand but I’m not giving Him and hand to hold.

What are you holding on to so tightly that you’re not giving either of your hands to God to hold on to and lead you? Something to think about…

This will be completely random to some, but it’s how my brain works. I was at church the other morning when someone pulled a van into one of the handicapped spaces. I must say, it was one of the worst parking jobs I’ve ever seen in my life! This van was sitting in that space like a forward slash (/). Not only that, but because the van was so big, it was causing people behind and around to stop. No one could move until this van could fix itself. I watched as people, in Sunday morning form, tried not to get upset and wait patiently even though they knew they would lose their spot in their favorite chair. They waited while the van back in and out a couple times before it was able to straighten up and finally park straight in the spot. I watched this unfold and was intrigued.

I went away wondering how many times we slow people down in life because we are in the way? I remembered the story of the man who had to be let down through the roof to be healed by Jesus (that’s in Mark 2, btw). The reason they had to make an opening in the people’s roof was because there were so many other people in the way and they wouldn’t let them through to Jesus. For some reason that seemed to really strike a chord with me while I stood there. How many times have I been standing in the way of someone getting to see Jesus and be healed by His love and compassion? We hear so much about how the people can get in the way of what God may be doing in the hearts of an unbeliever. I don’t know how true that is ALL the time, but I know that it’s possible. So my question to you for today is, am I being used as a vehicle for the Kingdom of God to flow through? Or am I just double parked in the lot and holding up the flow of traffic? Don’t be a handicapping parker. Unless of course, you…well…yeah…

Yesterday I was at home with the girls. That usually means that either we’ll have fun OR they will be mad at me by lunch because I’m not a fan of whining, which makes it tough to be 6 and 5 year old girls in my home. It ended up being a bit of both by the end of the day. But that’s another story for another day. One of the things I was able to accomplish was the rewriting of my resume and the cover letter that I attach when it is sent. I’ve had to send that thing out many times, and I wanted to feel more confident about what I was sending to churches and other employers. So I sat down and started from the the top and redid the whole thing. I changed the look and the words. I updated some stuff and wrote a completely new letter.

As I started writing the letter I was smacked with a plethora of feelings. The one I felt the most was humility. Resume writing is all about finding clever non forward ways to brag about yourself. That is difficult for me because I don’t like to talk about myself like that. Which made this even harder for me to swallow. As I wrote down all of my past jobs and recent accomplishments and things about my family and personal life I realized that I’ve been truly blessed by my Father. Even as I sit at home with no job, officially behind on my mortgage for June, not knowing if anyone will EVER call me, I know that I’ve been extremely blessed. I was reminded again that none of the things that I’ve done or been a part of have ANYTHING to do with me. They are all because of the God that lives in me. I was immediately humbled and broken. There was no one around to share it with so I had to write it in this way.

My hope is that someone will read this and realize that God is truly the one that is in control at all times. I can’t even begin to explain why things happen the way that they do, but I know that they do. There’s nothing I can do to change what God has already put in place. I just have to learn to live in His world. Be a part of His story. Let me tell you friends, that’s not easy. I like to know what’s going on around me. One thing that may seem small (except to Jim, who I know deals with this, too) is the fact that ever since I made some changes to my blog I haven’t been able to keep track of how many people visit my blog on a regular basis. That has frustrated me on and off for a while now. But I realized the other day that I haven’t checked in quite awhile. That’s a major victory for someone who needs to know everything. I even thought that asking people to respond to things would help, but people didn’t catch on to the whole leaving responses part, so that fell through as well. All this to say that, humility can come in many forms. Sometimes it comes when a dear friend shows you your faults, like Nathan and David (see 2 Samuel 12). Sometimes it comes when you have to write a letter about yourself. Either way, when God needs you to look at Him and not at yourself, He can do it.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. Went to church, which I love. Then we spent the rest of the day with family, which I love. Good times had all around. My cousin was in from San Antonio and it was great to see her and her husband and baby. So that’s a synopsis of my day. I know it’s not as cool as my friend’s Sunday blogs, but that’s what I had.

The thing that struck me the most yesterday was the sermon. We started a new sermon series yesterday called wiseology. It’s going to be a summer long journey through the book of Proverbs. I must say, I’m quite excited about this series. I think it’s going to be really, REALLY cool if yesterday’s sermon is any indication. We were all given a challenge to read through the book of Proverbs everyday over the summer. That would turn out to be 3 times through if we do it everyday. We were challenged to search and strive for wisdom. It seems so simple, but it is so counter cultural in today’s world that it could really change some things. So, to whomever actually takes the time to read this, I’m passing on this challenge to you. Take some time and read one chapter of Proverbs each day this summer and try to live by what you read. Then see if God changes your life at all this summer. I dare you. Feel free to make comments and share your experiences and what you learn through these readings. I’m excited. Are you? I hope so.

In Other News: I have to get back to working on music soon. I should do that…